A
female
age
36-40,
*us
writes:Hi evryone,it has been 3 mnths since i got married n we are contemplating abt getting kids.ma problem is i had had an abortion before(the pregnancy was of the same guy-we were not ready 4 kids then) and its like am not over it yet.i feel very guilty and i hav never shared this with anyone.how do i get over this guiltynes n maybe get kids now that am ready?
View related questions:
abortion Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lus +, writes (13 January 2010):
lus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u 4 ua answers,they were very helpful!
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 I would also like to add that if your husband doesn't understand why you aren't ready yet, i would hope that your relationship is strong enough and he is supportive enough to have you tell the truth on the matter, just so that he can be there for you and help you both get to the point of having a family. that is a personal choice, though.
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (12 January 2010):
If you're not ready yet for a child, you're not ready. But just remember that it wasn't your time for you to have that baby; if it had been time, nature, or God or fate, would have had it be. the abortion is not an indication of future motherhood qualities or qualifications, it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad future mother. you will be a great mother when you are ready to be and it was mature of you to recognize that it wasn't the time before. now that you're getting married, financially or at least romantically stable, that may help you towards feeling more comfortable about soon having a child.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 January 2010):
I think it depends on how recent it was. Sometimes it just takes time for the feelings to pass, and that can be a couple years. I had one a few years back, and there are some things that still trigger guilt in me. My sister recently miscarried after a few months and I felt REALLY sad, because she really wanted that baby and it died and I purposely ended a pregnancy where the baby was probably healthy. Also, abortion can be very traumatic for some women, so if you need to seek counseling, there's help for you too. If you go back to the clinic that did the abortion, they usually have information on where you can get help.
...............................
|
