A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About 10 years ago I met this girl in my 7th grade English class. And we became really good friends. We're still great friends to this day. A few months ago I got back from a 2 year trip to a foreign country. When I came home I reunited with this great friend of mine. I told her that I felt something for her and she responded that she felt something for me as well. But there are two problems. 1) She is scared of me. She thinks that if we start to date it may lead to something very serious, such as marriage. In short, she has commitment issues. 2) She's scared that if we do try something and it doesn't work, then we might end up killing a great friendship. So my question is how should I proceed? What can I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 My advice is to start casual. Don't be exclusive, just go out together alone (maybe even under the pretense of friends, and then building up to official dates). See how the chemistry works and let things develop at a natural and comfortable speed. You have a solid friendship foundation but this doesn't always translate well to a relationship, so she is right to be cautious. Take it slow and easy.
A
female
reader, AlextheOdd +, writes (25 February 2009):
 Well to look at the positives; at least you are both aware and afraid of the same things. As long as you two keep things at a steady pace your relationship will be prosperous. Don't ware each other out by calling/texting every minute. Do adventurous new things every weekend, don't be afraid to open up. Also, learn to trust her. Even if she may have commitment issues try to show that you trust her and help her build up her confidence in her relationship. Show her how fun it is to be in a commitment with you so she becomes less and less unsure. Also try not to stress her by talking about other girls all the time, even if they are close friends.
I wish you the best of luck, I know you two will do well. Even if things don't work out, let the relationship down easy instead of a heart-breaking split. Keep in touch.
-A
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