A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My best friend of 5 years and girlfriend for 6 months has cancer. I spent 4 weeks in the hospital with her while she had an operation and treatments.I truely love her and care very deeply about her. Tonight we were laying in her bed watching a movie and she told me that she had to have more treatments and that maybe I should just move on with my life and met a girl that wasn't so needy. The more I told her I loved her the angrier she got, Then she went on to say that she wasnt being a good girlfriend because she was so sick and emotional, and because we hadnt had sex in a while that I would be better off with someone else. She ended up putting me out of the house telling me that it would be better for me. I understandd that she is stressed but I love her and none of thing she mentioned bothers me. How can I explain to her that she is the only person I want.
View related questions:
best friend, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): Have you watched the Japanese drama One litre of Tears?
Well it's the same situation you have here. (almost) I'd say, go with whatever she's comfortable but tell her you love her lots and lots. :/ She needs time to think alone. :/
A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (3 May 2009):
 im sure she knows you love her, she is scared, that maybe she might not make it and she wants to make sure that your happy. do you two think about marriage?? maybe perpose?? thats the greastest act of love, if your ready. staying there at the hospital w/her shows a lot. good luck and wish her the best.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): You can explain it by doing precisely what you've been doing. If you love her and want to support her, regardless of the outcome, then be there for her. I'm assuming that you want to care for her, and don't care that sex is not only not on now, but likely won't be on for the forseeable future. If you love her in a way where sex doesn't matter, then just show up to be a support. You've been friends for years -- supporting is what friends do. She most likely finds it difficult to accept unconditional support, but if it's no strings, she'll likely come to accept and welcome it.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, nanners1 +, writes (3 May 2009):
I had cancer when i was younger around age 7-13. I have a boyfriend and he is my life and the thot always came back to me of what i wuld say to him if it came back...what your girlfriend said is exactly what i wuld say. Shes lost, confused, and emotionally destroyed, she probably feels like you're pitiying her and staying becuz u feel like its your "job." I would prove it to her that you love her, dont be clingy but do the little things that matter, tell her that she is your forever and that you accept her no matter what life brings, that she is your world, if she doesnt beleive you after that then give her time, cancer is more than stress, it messes with everything...she may just need a day to calm down and c how much she needs you.
...............................
|
