A
male
age
36-40,
*un
writes:i'm in love with this girl and she has a boyfriend. i expressed my feelings and turns out she is currently facing some problems with her bf. she currently has feelings for both me and her bf. she is on a "break" with her bf but i feel like i'm intruding and i hate the way i am feeling . what should i do ?
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (1 February 2007):
 She knows how you feel about her but she has a boyfriend at the moment (albeit they're on a break) and they are having problems. You telling her YOU have feelings for her too will only confuse her more. My advice to you is to back off just now and let her and her boyfriend try and work things out. She knows how you feel but she has to decide who she thinks is best for her and who she wants to be with so sit on the sidelines for now.
Let her know you're going to back off so that she can have some space to sort herself out. Once she has made her decision she could maybe email you and let you know. At least that way, if her and the boyfriend DO split up, you've kept well out of it.
Eve
A
female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (1 February 2007):
 It's never nice being the third wheel, and I can understand where you coming from. But as with everyone who will advice you on this issue-it's best you keep your distance and shelter your heart because there's a great chance you will get hurt. Support her and be there for her-no doubt she'll need that attention. But try not to make her decision about her relationship any harder. If you do the chances are she'll come running into your arms but she'll also bring a whole lot of baggage too-more problem then what you have now.Don't get me wrong this might truly be the women for you, so don't give up on the idea but try to draw a line as to save yourself future heartache.I hope everything works out for you with this girl but if they don't then it was probably for the best-as I personally believe that everything happens for a reason, no matter how big or small that reason is.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (1 February 2007):
 You probably won't like this advice but this girl is too confused to make a sensible decision right now. Tell her you still like her but that you're giving her some time and space to work out what she really wants from you or her boyfriend. Don't settle for being one of two blokes. I know you like her but you have to trust her to do whatever is the right thing for her and even if that ends up not being you try to accept it.
CD
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (1 February 2007):
 i think you need to tell her to forget about you for a while until she has solved her issues with the current bf, she might be having feelings for both of you because she is not happy with him right for whatever reasons and going thru tough time and when she was loosing a bit of hope you came along and showed interest on her, he is throwing her away and you are catching her which makes her feel secure with u. so becareful you might find that what she have are feelings of security towards you not what u are looking for, she is confused. so if you really want her and want to be in a happy rship keep your distance otherwise you will end up in a love triangle and you will always feel like an intruder as you wont have her to yourself. good luck
jovial
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