A
female
age
41-50,
*reamybee
writes:My husband had an affair two years ago. I took him back. He was accused of sexual harassment at work 3 months ago and it turned out it was a relaitionship although they never slept together. I find love poems he writes, trying to figure out who he is. And i found one to his ex of 10 years. He is into his star signs and says that it is all about finding out how people interact with each other. We have 3 children and I really love him, should I turn a blind eye to his creativity, knowing that despite his affair I know he loves me but needs to communicate in what I consider to be inapropriate ways when you are married, ie texting and emailing and writing poems?
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affair, at work, his ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2007): Mentally and physically your husband has checked out of this relationship- he is texting others and not you. You deserve better- are you willing to just accept this? Take you kids and get out- he will only hurt you and his kids in the long run.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (1 February 2007):
 Don't stifle his creativity, if he wants to write poems tell him to write them about YOU! Get him to write about how he feels as a person too. I am very into star signs too and I think they can tell you a lot about a person but he doesn't need to have affairs and get in touch with ex loves in order to do that. That is only an excuse and he shouldn't be emailing other women to find out how they tick. There is no doubt a problem in your marriage (or at least he feels there is).
What is his star sign and what is yours love? Email me if you want me to help you some more with this okay?
Eve
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (1 February 2007):
First off, theres nothing wrong with anyone writing poems. Its nothing to be ashamed of. If on the other hand he is writing poems and givng them to other woman and emailing and texting other woman then its a completely diffrent matter. Hes giving you an extreme lack of respect. It seems as if he doesnt give a dam about your feelings. TWO affairs. One can be seen as a mistake surely, but TWO. Hes laughing in your face. What do you want though. What do YOU WANT. Do you want him ? You would have to be one hell of a strong woman (or have no feelings) to be able to put up with this horrible man. I dont see why you should have to prove you are strong though and stay with him. I think this man will never change, will always have affair. He doesnt care about you if he would do this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2007): I don't understand why or even how you can still love him. He is texting and writing love poems for other people, am i right? Or have i read this all wrong? I wouldn't put up with that for one minute. You say you have kids and he is still carrying on like this. No way would i like that. You two need to sit down and talk.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2007): I don't understand why or even how you can still love him. He is texting and writing love poems for other people, am i right? Or have i read this all wrong? I wouldn't put up with that for one minute. You say you have kids and he is still carrying on like this. No way would i like that. You two need to sit down and talk.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (1 February 2007):
 I'm not 100% sure I've got the right end of the stick so please forgive me if this advice seems a little odd. Do you mean he sends these poems to his exes or just writes them. If it's the latter I'd be inclined to let it slide. He's obviously a creative person and uses poetry as an outlet. To be honest though, even if it's the former I think you should try and make your marriage work for the sake of your kids. By all means ask him to stop the flirting aspect of his communication but I'm not sure it'd be fair to ask him to stop communicating with his exes in general. Maybe you could try counselling or something to save your marriage? I realise he's treated you badly, it just seems that for now, your kids have to be your number one responsibility.
CD
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