A
male
age
36-40,
*ritersblock
writes:Don't know where I stand with her. I've been friends with a colleague of mine for nearly a year and a half. She is living with her parents and her b/f and she has fancied me for a very long time. Her b/f is a bit OCD when it comes to her and they always argue. She has said she wants me but doesn't want me to get involved with the crap in her life (i.e. the b/f)But the other day, we went to the pub. We had a usual laugh and everything and I took her to the train station when she had to get going. I decided to make a move and she reciprocated. We kissed for just a few seconds and then it was like "I didnt expect that" and "I'll see you saturday."Not long after she text me and I admit I came a bit unstuck did not know what to say. Said stuff like "you can say lets try that again" and "well thats what I'd like to hear" and "I hope you dont feel pressured by me."The response I got was "Ok maybe we could do it again haha" and "no dont be silly I dont feel pressured."The next day she texted me and it's like nothing happened I don't know where I stand with this girl. I don't know if I should make another move? Will I seem desperate or pressuring.She doesn't hate her b/f but she's fallen out of love with him and doesn't wanna hurt him by leaving him. She has also told me that she's cheated on every guy shes been with thus far, so I'm kinda like. Why am I doing all the work? What makes me different?Anyhow, I digress, apologies. I like forward to what I hear and thankyou in advance.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Writersblock +, writes (9 June 2007):
Writersblock is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your responses.
I do believe you are right, in that she has fallen out of love with her b/f rather than actually hating him.
This is one of my fears, in the event (however unlikely) that she leave her b/f to engage in a relationship with me and this pattern arises.
Another factor is we've been friends quite a while, and I'd hate for the breakdown so I guess I'm kinda in the wrong place. One side of me is selfish and wants to be with her, f her b/f and the other half of me is thinking is it all worth the effort when it'll surely end in complication, tears and well social chaos.
I don't think she is playing a game though, I don't feel like she is.
I talked with her best friend today, she said that her friend (the girl I kissed) enjoyed the kiss and everything. And her best friend said that she wants us to go further.
The best friend has also commented on the girl I like, previous affairs. They all seem justified (if childish) in that she cheated as a revenge against cheating b/fs
A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (8 June 2007):
 No, you should not make another move.
This girl is playing a game with you.
"She doesn't hate her b/f but she's fallen out of love with him and doesn't wanna hurt him by leaving him."
I guess it's what she told you and something here is not true.
Eventually this situation may become more complicated for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, myp  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 If shes cheated on all of her boyfriends then dont get involved unless you dont mind being the other guy. If you still want to pursue her than yeah, make another move, sounds to me like shes looking forward to it. However dont expect her to break up with her boyfriend because she sounds like she has a history of cheating.
good luck
-Myesha
...............................
|
