A
male
age
41-50,
*heresmyluck
writes:Hi everyone;Well hope someone can help me truely. I was in a relationship with my ex for 5 years and 2,5 years of it we were living together. I met her when she was 17 and i was 21 now she is 22 and im 26.In the 5 years she has dumped me 7-8 times out of blue. We never had fights etc... None of us have any alcohol problems and we do not use no drugs etc...Everytime she dumped me the reasons were;i dont love you anymorei want to be singlei dont see future togetheryou deserve better etc...Then everytime she come back she says;i cant see my life without youi made big mistakesi really regret what i did etc...At first when she dumped me she was back within a week but past 2 times been different;Once it took 1,5 half months for her to contact me after seeing me out and about. Then she stayed 2 months with me then went off again and this time it took 4 months for us to get back together and that was the only time i initiated the contact with her all other times she was the one did the first move everytime.But when she was apart from me 4 months i have tried to talk to her 2 months before and she didnt reply to my text message at all then i tried again that time she replied and after talks we got back together.I dont know whats her problem with being with me. This time we just got back from holiday abroad and 2nd day she left me out of blue again and she says we are not right for each other, she dont love me, she might be interested in someone else, she only comes back because she was bored not for the right reasons etc...Fair enough but i doubt someone would waste their time with same person so long just cause they are bored! She is not ugly girl either so she can get other guys without any problem but why is she kept coming back to me?Please help me as i had so many girls came in and out of my life but never seen anything like this and this experience made me very miserable person and now lost all my confidence in me and dont enjoy nothing at all in the life :((She also came from wealthy family but she wasnt working person so i was financially helping her as well and when we lived together i was the one paying the bills also but again she didnt have to be with me as her parents support her all the way financially too when she is not with me. So i dont know :((Thanks for taking time reading it!
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female
reader, Purple Pillow Power  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Well I think she doesn't want to be alone. She probably see's herself alone for life and needs someone beside her. When she leaves you I think its because she my picture the same routine with you over and over so she wants a bit of freedom. Its just a big loop so to make her feel better why dont you mix things up a bit. If she likes music take her to a concert. If she likes films go to the movies ect. ect. ect. As long as your comfortable and shes comfortable try and make her life exciting.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): Poor you - you are being used big time. I have no doubt she cares for you, but not enough I'm afraid. The scenario here is that she will continue in this vain and there will be no happy ending. How many times does she have to dump you before you say 'enough'? I may be wrong, but from afar, that's how it looks.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 She's wasting your time. Don't let her keep doing this to you. She's playing you like a game. She knows you're going to always be there when she needs help even though her interest in you isn't all that much. Leave her alone and tell her not to contact you again because it's going to be this way every time you have something to do with her. She's used you emotionally and financially and she never thought about you. She's selfish and dependent on her parents money and anyone else's she can get and she's an adult perfectly capable of getting her own. Be with someone who knows what they want, thinks before they make their decisions, and someone who asserts independence and doesn't need anyone to make it in life. Stand up for yourself and call it quits.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 July 2011):
No offence, but she comes back to you for the same reason as someone wipes their feet on the doormat - it's there and they can do it.
You seem like a nice, committed guy - but in being nice and committed, you are allowing yourself to become the classic male doormat. You're Mr Safe&Reliable. You're there, always there doing the right thing, trying hard to make it all work, listening, caring etc.
And your girlfriend? Well she plays on that. She has worked out that she can get away with anything, and you'll be there. When she wants you to prop her up and give her emotional support, she comes to you. When she wants her fun, her freedom, whatever, she dumps you and goes to someone else or something else. Then she starts to feel bad again, so comes back.
The real question is not shy she treats you this way, but why you allow her too. Because you should have ended this a long time ago and moved on. That's my advice now - it's time for you to move on.
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