A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well first me and my have been having a secret relationship for like about 11 months. I asked her if she would like to go out with me officially and she said yes but this was back in October of 08 now it's January of 09. Well she said yes but we had to get her parents approval, so she said she would tell them her self when she thought the time was right and I said ok. We talked about it a few more times then she said she would tell them on Christmas. Now Christmas was less than a week away and I bring up the subject again and she tells me she is not gonna tell them for a while and I ask her why and she tells me she thinks the time is right so I ask her if she wanted me to tell them she says ok so on January 2nd I tell her dad that I wanted to be her boyfriend and he says ok. Later I told that he said ok well she was happy I could tell. But then the next the next day she tells me that her dad said no that we should just stay friends. I asked why did he say yes then and she said because I had the guts to tell him. I was just like ok so what are we gonna do and she said just stay with our secret relationship so I said ok. A couple days later she tells me she is talking to her ex from like five years ago so I said ok that's cool. Then I found out that her dad didn't say no she did. I told what I had found out and that her talking to her ex bothered me a bit. So she told me that she said no because her dad said that he thinks she is not ready for relationships and that after he told her that she started thinking that he was right that maybe she isn't and that this other guy that had asked her out before started to make her think the same thing to. And when I told her that talking to her ex bothered me a bit she started saying that it should bother me because they are just talking As friends and that I should have nothing to worry about because if I was talking to one of my ex she wouldn't be worried. Anyways yea it's been 2 weeks since she told me she is thinking about being in a relationship or not and she still hasn't givin me the answer if she wants to or not. What should I do?Sh
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AperfectSchism +, writes (27 January 2009):
 Sounds like you really like her. :)
My suggestion is this: Sit her down and tell her how you feel. Be honest. Then tell her that you are interested in dating her, but if she isn't ready, then that's okay. Explain that your offer always stands, so when she's figured out what she needs to do, she can talk to you.
But! This is not an offer for her to go "play" around with other boys (including her ex); this is an offer for her to figure out what she wants so you can get an answer.
If she says no, then tell her you'll always be there for her, but you need to move on as well. If it's meant to be, then it will work out to your advantage.
I hope this help a bit. :)
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