A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey, um okay. I reaaaalllllyy love this girl. My girlfriend. We've been together for almost 7 months. Everything is going great except, she doesn't think I love her as much as I do. So what can I do to make her see, theres no one else for me? I love her to death, she just kind of makes me nervous. :) Plus she always thinks I'm cheating on her because...a lot of girls like me. And girls always hug me. She acts like she doesn't care, but I know she does. I tell her I love her, we hold hands, I buy her stuff, like popcorn at the movies, a hat at the fair, ya know little stuff. She is such a romantic :P and I knooow there is no way I can live up to her love story. But what can I say, little gestures of care, physical touches, can i do to let her know I love her? Thanks for help.:) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ScaredForLove +, writes (14 November 2011):
Hm, that sounds like me and my boyfriend!! Sing to her. I'm guessing, if she's a romantic she'll like your singing. Even if you suck, its the thought that counts :))
It wasn't a grey and green monster hat by chance..was it?
In that case ...hahaha;)
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (13 November 2011):
 "So what can I do to make her see, theres no one else for me?"
Nothing at all. It's counterintuitive, but believe me, nothing is a bigger turn-off to women then seeing a man desperately trying to "prove his love." Simply be in love, keep doing whatever it was that attracted her to you in the first place, and do not worry about proving anything. This is one of the hardest lessons for a young man to grasp, and I sure didn't recognize it at your age, but I'm serious. Women's strongest romantic desire is to be with a worthy, confident, powerful man who has no need to prove himself. If she expresses insecurities about it, your job is just to let experience and express her feelings while you remain a rock in the storm.
"...a lot of girls like me. And girls always hug me. She acts like she doesn't care, but I know she does."
This is called "preselection." It's good that other girls like you. Girls are herd creatures - they want whatever other girls want, so if other girls want you, that's a good thing. Don't cheat, and don't put up with any accusation of cheating. Remain loyal, enjoy the extra attention without encouraging it too much. Girls want to feel "chosen," and do you think she would feel more "chosen" if she was the only girl for you, or if you had options and decided she was the best one?
"I knooow there is no way I can live up to her love story."
Your job is to live up to *your* love story, not hers. You should be inviting her to join you in your love story. The ones girls make up in their heads are never going to quite match reality, so you have to gently refuse to be that guy, and instead be your own strong, confident man, then let her have the opportunity to join you in that story. In practical terms, that means being the kind of man and boyfriend you feel like a man ought to be, and trusting her to respect and love that.
I know it's all a bit hard to grasp, but trust me on this. The idea is to be independent, not uncaring - there is a difference. Don't let her whims and fantasies rule you.
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