A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been in a relationship for 3 years, he has asked me to move in with him, which is great but since then he has changed towards me. he talks to me like I am a child I feel like I am being told off constantly, I don't do that right I don't do this right, I had better not do that when we live together.He tells me he doesn't like some of my clothes, tells me I am moody and act like a child, tells me off for mumbling and for being shy and lacking in confidence.I am no different to what I was when I met himI am so confused, hurt and upset by his attitude towards me.Why ask me to live with him when everything I am and do seems to annoy him.Please help!!!
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 December 2009):
I think you're second best to him, I really do. I know you're confused, but now you have found those emails and he treats you badly. Those are two very good reasons to leave. Don't stay with a man who doesn't love you enough.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI read his emails, I know I am not proud of myself!! Found emails to and from a female I have never heard of in the 31/2 years we have been seeing each other.
The last ones just about the time he asked me to move in, telling her he missed her and that they should meet up, she said it was difficult to see him out and not be able to talk to him. I was devastated jumped to the conclusion he was cheating on me and confronted him!
He got angry with me for looking at his emails, told me they are just friends and that he just tells girls what they want to hear, swore on his sisters life that he has never cheated on me and that he just flirts with girls and it is all harmless and that I am the one who lives with him and that he want to build a future with.
I don;t know what to believe, I desperately want to believe him because I love him so much but how can I trust him when it all just points to one conclusion.
Please help, I feel so confused and hurt.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 October 2009):
He's trying to change you. That means he probably still loves an ex and wants you to be her. A man who loves you accepts you as you are. Don't change. Tell him to stop controlling you. If he doesn't, leave him. He will destroy your confidence otherwise. Don't let a guy change you.
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