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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've been dating a really awesome girl for about 6 months. It's all really good and I like her a lot. The thing is, the other day, I went over to her house, and I guess she forgot that I was coming over and I overheard her with her best friend. She was crying and sobbing over her her last relationship and how she misses him and stuff. I get it if she misses him or whatever, but something about the way she was crying about him got to me. I don't know how I should deal with it now. Thoughts?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Yes, move on down the road...you are two young to be wasting your time at this point.
Break it to her gently, tell her up front and honestly, and then move on.
She's on the rebound.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Ouch that has got to be a letdown. I'm sorry you had to hear that..but then again it's for the better. Truthfully, I'd break it off with this girl because she's not ready to be in a relationship with you if she's shedding tears for her ex. Not to mention her heart and mind are not in this relationship 100%. That's not fair to you and could result in her breaking up with you sooner or later.
So go ahead and break it off because she's not emotionally available.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): I was with my ex for a year and a half. It was a damaging relationship, where I wanted to stay but his drugs and alcohol additions where tearing me apart. I struggled with him daily and never stopped loving him, however he was simply killing me. I met the wonderful man I am with today and I know it tears his heart to think that I do not hate my ex., and I did cry and discuss it with my best friend.
Its simply not to be discussed with you. Rebounds I do not believe in. Why should someone have to stay single and weep and be unhappy for a year inbetween relionships. Your young, this relationship most likely will not be your last. Enjoy what you can out of it, and just make sure you continue your own schooling and interests. The first loves are some what the hardest. Plan your goals, and stick to them. Life paths change, are you both going in the same direction? For example do you see yourself married with children with in the next 7 years? This is the type of thing you might like to discuss with her. Her ex is her ex, and he is obviously somewhat typical of most ex's that being not compatible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): You should tell her you over heard her. Ask her if she stills has feelings for her ex. talk it out with her and try to find out the real situation before you make any hasty decisions.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Uuhh I'm sorry to hear this. Can't be very nice to know that.It must not necessarily mean all bad things though. I had a very difficult break up as well this year and it took me ages to get over my ex.However when I was still not fully over him I met this great guy I started to date. I could have stopped seeing him since I was still crying over my ex.But he was really nice and I did not want to send him away so I didn't. It was a bit weird in the beginning but today I'm so happy I acted that way.We have been happy together for several months and I love him more each day. My ex is long forgotten and if I had acted in a different way I would have missed out on this great relationship I'm currently in.You will have to talk to your GF. This could be the same case for her. However you also have to be careful and read the signs correctly.Is there still any chance she could get back together with him? Would she want to? Or is she 100% with you and just still struggling with the break up like I was? Is she crying cause she would rather have him than you or because it just hurts her that it is over?Does she love you and wants to be with you or does she just want to be with anyone toi make it easier for her?I wish you all the best with this.
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female
reader, SmilySmily  +, writes (5 November 2010):
I think you might want to talk to her about her previous relationship. You might be her rebound if it wasn't long ago and by the sound of her, it seems to me that she still has some feelings left for him. Girls don't just cry for nothing you know. If you like her very much, I think you should talk to her about it and see where you stand..!! Hope this helps!
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 You could tread carefully and make sure that she isnt with you soley for the company because she can't be with the one she really wants. You could ask her about her ex and if she misses him at all. That's all you can do really. It can't be very nice knowing all this, it would make you wonder what she is doing with you now. Good Luck
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