A
male
age
41-50,
*ikediscovery
writes:I am 30 years old and she is 28. We met 2 years ago and she was my first time. Always valued the fact of being virgin until I was going to meet the right one. In the last months her sex drive dropped and we basically are having sex not more then twice a month. She is having very late periods (once every 3 months) and she say this is normal for her it was always that way. (She did regnancy test last weekend and was negative).She seems not interested in sex anymore. She used to be very sexual before meeting me, I know she even had a fling with a married guy and I know sex used to be important for her. I am worried I am not good enought for her. I tried to talk with her and she said she is just stressed by work, that`s all, but for me sex is a good cure for stress, so I don`t understand. What should I do?Last Saturday she was trying to please me but it was obvious it was doing that just for me... she basically told me "just f... me so you will be happy" but my sexual drive dropped to zero so nothing happened. We talked and I told her I don`t want sex anymore until she really feels like it... and she said "ok" and nothing else.It is difficoult for me to comunicate with her, I am italian and she is american and we have different cultures and mentalities...plus she can be very defensive when we talk. What should I do? Was it a mistake what I have done? I didn`t wanted to hurt her... I just cannot enjoy it with someone that is doing it as it would be a chore.We are going to get married in 2 months... and even if I love her very much I feel so unsure.
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female
reader, prettypinkiebaby +, writes (19 February 2009):
 owwch. well u guys r about to get married so u bette sit her down and just be really gental and sweet and make ur voice soothing and hold her. stroke her hair and her face and tell her to realx for one minute. if she says shes gotta go then u need to put the marrige on for hold. because obviouly somthing bad is happing and maybe u guys need to actaully talk about it. if she doesnt want to talk or leave or anything like that u have to stop and think. are u really in love with this girl? lemme kno how it goes!
A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (19 February 2009):
 you need to sit down and calmly talk to her and tell her what is bothering you..
ask her why it's so hard for her to communicate lately and if theres anything wrong for her sudden decrease of a sexual drive... pull out your puppy dog eyes so even if she gets mad and tries to push the confruntation a way, she wont be able to
and talk to man..you guys arer about to get amrried, you should tlak often
gudd luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): here is my 2cents, you are doing everything right. and you have tried your best to explain how you feel, now its up to her. if it has been awhile and no improvement, focus on the other aspects of yuor life with her. hows everything else? there you should see the signs of why everything is the way it is. careful with the marriage. get your sexual chemistry straighten out first, you dont want to start having those conversations two months in. everything should be in place before you take that step.you need to figure out whats going on, she didnt just stop being sexual...could she be getting it somewhere else?hate to put it that way, but the most obvious solutions are usually the correct ones.reconsider who you are and what matters to you and stand firm. healthy relationship needs a healthy sex life.bona fortuna
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (19 February 2009):
 just hold her, just hold her and comfort her and ask her how shes doing. dont bring up sex, just try and be there for her and let her unload all her problems. then when shes not feeling stressed any more she will start to feel the passion again.
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