A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help. I met a guy over the internet who lives in NSW. I live in Perth. We seemed to get along really well. He then started sending me pics of his lower private parts and wanted to know what I was wearing etc and wanted intimate pics of me. At first I said excuse me I don't even know you and I would like to meet you first. I'm not sure what happened then. I suppose I got sucked in you could say with the way he spoke to me on MSN and text messages. He would send me up to 15 texts per day at first and call me Sexy Miss, kitten, Sweet Dreams sweetheart etc etc and that I had become an important part of his life. I eventually succombed to his charms and sent him intimate pics of myself which I now regret. Over the last two weeks he wanted more pics and I said no I don't feel like it and he text me back whimp. I should have dumped him then but I didn't. Anyway a few nights later I had quite a few drinks and was feeling very frustrated as I wanted to see him face to face and was sick of not being able to see and be with the real person and I text him that I thought the geographical distance between the two of us was too much of an obstacle. The next morning I regretted what I said and told him that I had second thoughts and wanted to continue a friendship etc. He said he was annoyed at my indecisiveness but said however that he still wanted to continue to build a relationship with me but wanted to lay off the sex talk when he was the one who was initially encouraging it and the pics etc.He also said that he thought that I needed some time to be by myself to sort out what road I really wanted to take and that he didn't need any complications in his life and he felt that I had to much in my life to currently take on anything else. Anyway I have text him a few times and called him and he text me back yesterday and said that he was busy and that he would text me last night after he finished training. Haven't heard from him and feel really rejected.I'm wondering whether he is just using my text message re the geographical distance as an easy cop out because I started to say no to sending him more pics or whether he is feeling genuinely pissed off about my indecision.He said the other night that he agreed that I had stuffed up but was prepared to let it slide this time but he is not texting me back or trying to contact me any more. I am feeling very hurt, upset and anxious and don't know what to do. Please help
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female
reader, happytochat +, writes (19 February 2009):
He is all about control and bullying. Hes an internet predator. You might think that sounds exstreme and only happens to teenage girls with old men, but it happens to anyone, any age, and its happening to you.
He 'groomed' you on the net, to make you feel so important and great about yourself. He made you feel special, and ultimately, his plan was to coerce you into doing something you clearly said you werent ok with.
A decent guy, would never, EVER, ask you to do something a 2nd time once you already said no. This guy knew you felt, yet he continued to disrespect your boundaires. All he cares about is himself and his needs. He doesnt care about yours, hes selfish.
What sort of guy calls a girl wimp because she doesnt feel ok with doing something? A bully, an abuser, a predator...whatever you want to call it, you deserve better.
And now he has the nerve to place all this blame on you about your 'indecisiveness'.
I hope you can see him for his true colours. Peoples true colours usualy come about when a problem arises, when they are under stress etc... and i think this is what is happening here. Hes stoped putting on the Mr Nice guy act who smothers you with lots of nice messages etc.
Hes most likely doing what he did to you, to another girl on the internet already, if not multiple ones.
Honestly, you deserve so much more than a guy like this.
Stop contact with him- dont remain friends because he will still use you as a friend with benefits then.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): I would honestly hate to be the one to break this to you, but this guy has no interest in you and you have no relationship with him - at all. When men are interested in those kinds of pics, they are using the internet for fantacy purposes only. Any man that has any intention of meeting you and actually being with you does not want to know that you are sending naked pics of yourself all over the internet. That is not relationship potiential, that is cybersex potential only. You are not the only one, you are just the only one who thought it was more then what it actually was. He did not feel like putting up with the hassles of having to make excuses to you prior to seeing your pics, when there are probably 100 more who play his game no questions asked. Most men think it is a nice alturnative to actually cheating on thier wifes. The wife usually would not think so even if she did know about it. One time I was suppose to be working a thrid shift, I took a break and ran up the street to my boyfriends apartment to sneak in and suprise him. I was the one who got the suprise when I caught him on the phone having phone sex with an ex girlfriend. The funny part was that she thought he was looking a pictures that she sent him, but he was actually just using her voice while looking at pictures of other women. He called it his "hobby". He new hobby is keeping off of the computer, if he would like to keep his "real" girlfriend hobby. Find a real live man, at least you can walk in on them if you want to know what they are really doing. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, prettypinkiebaby  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 i think u should leave him. i know that sounds sad and rude but hun its the best. i mean he could b 68 for all u kno! i kno that sounds stupid but that happend to me. i was dating an 18 yearold and aftr an ivistigator came they found out he was 55 and a child milester! it actually happend to me. plus he obvioulsy is just using u and u let him walk all over u. shake off that dirt and tell the dick off!! let me kno how things go!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): You know what, get away from your computer, put your coat on and go outside. Go to church, go to the grocery store, go to an art gallery, a library, a park, a bookstore, a marathon run, a sporting event, a party, a dinner out alone or with friends.
But what ever you do get away from chat lines and vow never to meet another man on the internet. This guy is a predator, and when you wouldn't play along with his dirty little game he got bored, and you have nothing to feel rejected about....you don't know this guy, you have never smelt him or seen him with your eyes or touched him.
He is not real, he is a fantasy you made up in your head and texting and writing accross the internet can be interpreted many ways and you project what you want to be happening and you ignored the rest.
Please get on with a real life in your own back yard.
Concentrate on you, not men, find what makes you tick what makes you happy and have a fabulous life and you will attract someone NORMAL who wants to find out all about you and how they can join you in your fabulous life. Trolling the internet is going to get you nothing but TROLLS
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (19 February 2009):
 just leave him, i think you already feel like its not going to work, and most long distance relationships dont work. you would be better off ending it and finding someone closer to home.
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