A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend told me she loved me today. We've only known each other for 5 months and been going out for one of them. We were lying down and I didn't know what to say and kind of stared at her for a little while. I then sort of mumbled -"i think i feel the same". She obviously knew i didn't mean it and told me not to say it if i didn't and i said that it's hard for me to say because i've never said it to anyone before. The truth is i don't feel that way yet - it's too soon! but now she gonna feel awkward because shes said it and i didn't repsond accordingly and im a bit scarred because its a little too full on so soon. Did i do wrong? What should i do? Could this ruin things?Will it not mean as much when it gets to the point i can say it back? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): OMG for a second there I thought you might have been my boyfriend posting a question then I realised different country.
This EXACT same thing happened to me on the weekend although I have been dating the guy for four months.
I told him I loved him and he said....nothing, just kinda changed the subject. I am so embarrased and ashamed of myself and dont know how I could have got it so wrong, I mean the guy treats me like im the most important person in the world and now I feel like maybe he has just been using me for sex.
Has this ruined things for us? I hope not but it probably has, im wondering if he thinks im pathetic because I sure feel like I am.
You were probably 'acting' like you love her so she felt like she could say it. I feel sooo sorry for her right now and I wish guys wouldn't act in love if the aren't.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 No, stop worrying. You did the right thing. It hurts like hell to say it to someone and not hear it back, I feel for her. But explain to her it is just too soon for you. You care for her and like her a lot but want to be absolutely sure of how you feel before you say it. Tell her you don't want the relationship to end. She should be happy you don't just say things you don't mean. And imagine how great it is going to feel for both of you when you finally do say and feel it! It means so much more, and I think she will see that. My boyfriend and I went through this, but the opposite way around. He told me he was in love with me and I told him I wasn't sure. He was a little upset but he was ok. 2 months later we were lying in bed, I looked at him and I knew it, and I said "I love you. I'm in love with you". He was ecstatic, the happiest I have ever seen him. You can't force feelings on yourself but you clearly like her so give yourself time, I commend you on not saying it when you didn't feel it. Good luck :)
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