A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Plz help, I've been in this relationship for 5 years, my girlfriend already has a son, that I'm practically raising. We don't live together. Anyway she cheated on me and got pregnant, she was gonna have a abortion, but the docs said it could be dangerous 2 her health, because she had others. She wants 2 keep the baby even though, they said she could have a misscarriage. I want 2 stay with her but I don't know what 2 do. I don't want 2 raise another guys child. But I love her 2 death and can't live without her.
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male
reader, owens266 +, writes (30 July 2007):
Man, you love her to death, but apparently it's only one-sided , especially if she cheated on you. My ex-girlfriend (of 2 and a half years) did the same thing, and she also got pregnant. For the longest time I was wishing it was mine, or, if it wasn't mine, she would get an abortion so that we could pick up the pieces of our relationship and start fresh. Listen to me...if she cheats once, she will do it again. It's just a given fact when it comes to women. One cheat equals another cheat. She may not cheat on you again for months, or years...but trust me, it'll happen again. Or even worse, after you two make amends, she may cheat without you knowing it...and that ain't cool. Let me give you an analogy to show you what you're up against..a graphic picture that hopefully will shed some new true light. Women who cheat (any woman, yours too, believe it or not) are like bears who get a taste of human flesh. See, the human represents cheating/someone else, the bear represents the woman. You represent nuts, berries, and fish. So here it is: For the longest time, the bear (woman)has been faithfully eating nuts, berries, and fish (you), not being tainted by anything else to devour. One day something changes in the bear's habitat (your relationship)that wasn't there before, or was ignored...it's a human (someone else/potential cheating). Now, the bear, who is hungry, has a choice...it can continue to eat nuts, berries, and fish (you)..or it can go for this new meal (the other person). Well, your girl is like the hungry bear who has decided to eat a human instead of nuts, berries, and fish. Now, just like a real bear who gets a taste of human, your girlfriend has had a taste of cheating. And you know, when a real bear eats a human, it instantly develops a taste for it, a preference for it, and will go for it every time the opportunity is right. Of course, it will still eat nuts, berries, and fish, but it wants that other meal too. This is how your girlfriend is. She has had a taste of cheating, now she will go for it when certain circumstances present themselves despite anything you say or do. I know this is harsh, but it's the truth, it's human nature for a cheater. Listen my friend, today....get you a new girlfriend, friend with benefits, or a hobby that will take your mind off your girlfriend forever. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to start now, right now, before you become emotionally destroyed completely. I hope this helpsSee, the difference between a lot of people and say, birds, is that birds busy themselves in the present and the future while people tend to linger in the past, reminiscing over damaged relationships and lost causes. If you can take this example and apply it, you will be free like the bird, but if you really want the relationship to work between you and your girlfriend...this is my challenge to you. I guarantee that your relationship will be 100% renewed if you can grow golden, diamond-studded feathered wings and fly by flapping your arms. Now, think about that impossibility...that's the same impossibility you have of ever having a trusting, mutually-honest relationship with your girlfriend.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (15 July 2007):
 I agree with Frank- this girl is treating you poorly.
How many abortions has she had already? It seems that she has no quim about sex and getting pregnant.
If you really can't see yourself being happy raising her children then walk away from her as you can't make her drop her kid for you.
It's harsh she went out and got pregnant with somone else's child, but if you loved her then you would accept the child back aswell as her.
I know they aren't your blood and it can be very hard to take on other peoples kids, but if you love her and want to be with her you don't have much choice.
xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (14 July 2007):
 It is not about how much you love her, it is about how well she treats you. She is treating you poorly.
The fact that you do not live together might be your saving grace. It means that you may not be financially liable to pay child support for her son.
I think you'd better move on. I think her behavior will continue. You are still young enough that you can still find someone to start a family of your own.
Start cutting the ties now.
I would also point out that you have been together for 5 years, and not living together or married yet. At your age group, I would see this as a red flag for the relationship.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (12 July 2007):
 It was a poor action on her part and now in the relationship its not just you her and the kids it is the other two men who's children are around. If you love her deeply you will see that those children are part of her too. I can understand that those children aren't your blood and it is frustrating. You can either accept them and raise them because their fathers may not give a rip about them and you'd be the only father they knew OR you can tell her you are outta there and not deal with that drama. it comes down to what you want to deal with in the future.
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