A
male
age
41-50,
*rokenheartedfool
writes:My girl friend cheated on me we broke up, she made a lot and a lot of promises. She told me and messaged the guy in front of me that they should not meet or contact. Recently I found out that she took photos of herself nude and sent it to the guy. She still calls me constantly after I confronted her. Her answer to me is it is none of my business and why I am so nosy on checking her email. She still calls me I don’t know what was the point and what’s all this. What’s the mentality of a girl you dated and live with for 3 years to cheat on you 3 times and beg for forgiveness and wanted to be with you and was planning a future with you and just a glimpse of an eye lie to you and send her nude photos to another guy.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 January 2010):
 I agree with most of the Aunts. She will not change. (and why should she ? (from her point of view) when you always take her back and forgive her?
At some point you are going to have to have had enough. 3 times in 3 years is 3 times to much if you ask me. It's a pattern, a habit for her.
My question to you is, WHY don't you think you deserve to be treated better then this?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 January 2010):
She is afraid of being alone, so uses you. You're like the cuddly toy for when it all goes wrong. Get rid of her, you can do better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): I once had a girlfriend act the exact same way, once we were broken up for several months I was told by many of her close friends about times she cheated on me that i had no idea of. Some girls just have commitment problems.
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (20 January 2010):
Well I can't say what her mentality is, but I have been in a similar situation. My ex would cheat on me, beg for forgiveness and that I take him back and and then once I did - he'd cheat again. I don't really know what goes through their heads, maybe someone else can offer more insight than I can. But I'll tell you what I THINK it might be.
You say you guys lived together for 3 years, she probably got used to your company. She wants you in her life, but doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so she continues to call - but with her behavior she is actually hurting you more than she would if she would just say goodbye. Maybe she is using you as her backup plan? When she cheats if it doesn't work out with the other guy she wants to know she always has you so she won't be lonely. Mostly, I think people that do these things are insecure and afraid of being alone. Cheaters usually need reassurance that they are wanted - maybe their partner wants them - but if other people want them too then they feel good about themselves for a moment. Then when the consequences of cheating set in, they feel bad about themselves and need a boost - thus the cheating continues. That's my personal analysis of cheaters in general.
Maybe you should stop the contact, I don't see this relationship going anywhere but in circles.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (20 January 2010):
 Sorry hun, but she will never change - you forgave her once and she has continued to cheat. There is no future for you with this woman, she will only bring you pain and humiliation.
Furthermore, there should be no secrets within a relationship especially in your case where you were discussing a future together.
I think that you should consider moving on with your life, you do deserve better!
Honeygirl
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