A
female
age
36-40,
*lairabell
writes:I'm 21 and I have been with my boyfriend for 2years we have a 10mth old daughter togeather. We have had are ups and downs, I'm haveing truble getting him in the mood. Or he acks like he wants it then turns me down later in the day. I'm getting really upset at him about it because he only wants me when he does he never works with me when I'm in the mood, is he cheating on me? Is he not atracted to me anymore? I don't know what it is. I've tryed talking to him about it. All we do is fight when I bring it up. When I ask if its me he always says it not, but the way he sayd it and acts when I ask makes me feel like it is me, what should I do? Should I leave him and start over. Or should I just deal with it and hope he comes around?
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female
reader, klairabell +, writes (22 January 2010):
klairabell is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDon't get me wrong he's a great guy... we first met thro my bestfriend they worked togeather.. And one day I went up there to visit my bff and he started talking to me and from there on we have been with eachother.... But in my last two message I didn't tell u all every thing... He has more then just one baby he has 5... including my lil one. he's older then me by a few years.. His kids r great....and he's a awesome dad. I wouldn't know what to do with out him he's my world. So its hard for me to talk about all of r prob. But I don't get out much and I don't have a lot of friends the live by me. And I don't wanna make him seem like a bad guy cuz he's not. He's just different when it come to sex, and when I does come to sex I get pissed all time when he tells me no cuz that all I here out of him is no when it comes to sex... I'm getting frusterated with him about it. I don't know what elts to do.. I know sex isn't everything but he makes me feel beautiful, and good about myself, and not a lot of people can do that.so I don't know how to conrol my feeling and my sex drive. I wanna make him happy but idk how to. Is there anyway I can get him to work with me when it comes to sex? I've tryed everything to get him to want me, like bending over to pick something up.. All kinds if stuff. But nothing seems to work so plz help with this idk who elts to ask or talk to
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 January 2010):
 I sounds like he loses interest in life. He is going through a quarter life crisis. He hasn't figure out what to do in life yet, and now he became a father. You should tell him he could choose to pay child support (out of someone's pocket) or you guys can work something out together to make the future easier. Don't focus on sex right now. When there is a goal being set, you can both relax and feel each other's love again. Your inertia is really killing you two. I know people sulk at "just get a job!" but it's the positive attitude that changes everything. Working is much better than sitting and playing games.
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A
female
reader, klairabell +, writes (20 January 2010):
klairabell is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust last night him and I got into a argument about it.I mostly just looking for answers from him.and all I get is nothing is wrong and I don't know.. So I keep bringing it up to him. He's starting to get pissed about it.I'm a stay at home mom and I need my lovens at the end of the day... He's unemployed right now so I don't see why I can't get my lovens... I would love to get a babysitter just so him and I could have are time togather but its hard with no money or someone to babysite for us so are time is when my daughter goes to bed.. But even then all he does is sit in his chair and play on his phone.. He doesn't talk to me unless I talk to him so I don't know what to do. I'm so lost and confused about this...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): Whats more inportant is that you have a daughter together and you need to focas on that forget about the sex and try to build on your relationship. why did you get together in the first place maybe you need a weekend a way just thd two of you.But theres a possibility that theres a stressfull thing in his life thats causing him to be put of of sex.As i allready said what ever you do you both have a daughter
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): If he is not getting sexual release with you...where is he getting it? A man that age will always want a sexual release..keep your ears and eyes open to what is truly going on here, then get back with us.
But, no, don't go without the rest of your life, you are too young to go without the benefits of healthy sexual interaction with a mate :)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (20 January 2010):
I read a psychology article about sex after being parents. He sees you nursing your child, changing diapers all the time. Suddenly you become a mother figure, which loses the sexual appeal. I don't have an answer to this, I am still trying to figure this out. But then there are MILFs, but that's because it's a taboo, and milfs are like unattainable figures, dangerous and exciting.
I know people who have great sex life after children. My parents have a good sex life.
I believe this phase will pass. Your kid would grow up. You could rekindle that lost passion because you are still so young. Even tired couples could find 10 minutes each day to be intimate.
Your baby stole a lot of attention away from him. Your boyfriend wants to be babied again.
Pay someone to babysit and find that lost passion. He must be missing that one on one time with you.
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