A
male
age
41-50,
*oe77
writes:hi this is my history:i met a very beautifull girl i dated her for 3 months she told me she was virgin,well one time she told me that she was not ready to be with me so i understood and left..2 months after she started texting me saying many things like,i wanto you, i miss you and i never got back to her..5 months later i decided giving her another chance as she told me she was defferent,that she wanted to change and she was willing to do anything as she knew i was the love of her life... well i talked to her she told me she was not a virgin anymore,..it was a bit hard for me but kept going,than 2 weeks later after we started someone call me she was unfaithfull 2 me,i confronted her and she said yes i did it whic broke my heart.i said go to hell..many things..well she was pleading to forgive her for a week, i forgave her and i felt my relationship got stronger she shows so much love 2 me now, we have great sex,she says she love me and iam also very in love with her(she also wans to have a babey by me.but sometimes i try to forget about what she did but that doubt of that she'll do it againg keeps beating my head, so i want to break with her and i dont know how to do it as evething look so perfect. is this the right deciTion?i dont wanna carry doubt ..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): remember this she did not confess that she was sleeping with someone else. you were told by some and then you confronted her about her being unfaithful. if you did not confront her she would not have told you. she would have lied and covered up the truth. this baby thing will not stop your problems . having a baby will only complicate things and she should not want to bring a baby into this world to justify her so called feelings for you.
don't be fooled by the good sex- look at her, can you trust her enough, can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her and will she remain faithful. you need to look closely at your relationship. the lies about the virginity aspect is concerning. if she could lie from the start, have sex with someone else while going out with you, then tells you something about this girl. ultimately you need to make a decision, can you live with someone who lies. what about honesty in the relationship. seems like she doesn't know the meaning of it. a relationship is NOT ONLY ABOUT SEX. and she mustn't use this to keep you. by using sex she makes certain you are so preoccupied that you don't focus on the real issues in this relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): Let me tell you something ceom personal experience… when I was 16, I met a guy at my work. We started dating but 2 months into the relationship I fucked up and had sex with someone else. Right after it happened I realized it was wrong and that I really cared for the guy I was dating so I felt guilty and told him the truth. It qa hard but he forgave me and now its been three years, we moved on and were very happy together.
One thing you should know is that if you want to give her a second chance, you have to forgive her and let go of the past. There will be some trust issues and it won't be easy but I'd you still want to make it work, don't give up. Just know everyone makes mistakes and eveyone deserves a second chance! I don't know the girl, so I can't Tel you of she honestly feels bad about it or not, but if you know she's truly sorry then give her another chance. All I can tell you is keep your guard up.
If you feel you honestly can never forgive her then just let it go and move on… just remember "once a cheater always a cheater" is not always true. I can tell you from personal experience, because I've never done it since and never will and I thank god my bf have me a second chance because he's truly made me happy.
I guess the bottom line is, if you choose to give her a second chance you have to FORGIVE her or it won't work
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A
male
reader, rocknroll  +, writes (25 May 2009):
She sounds like she will be ongoing trouble for you, are you sure this is the type of life you want? People rarely if ever change, and I'm sure it will be easy for her to miss a beat and return to her old ways.
IfI were you, with this much drama already, I'd move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Everyone diserves a second chance!
I find the longer I am on this site the more I realize things aren't so black and white. There is so much grey area. Things aren't always right or wrong, good or bad!
Before you make decision you will regret. Work on letting go of those negative thoughts.
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