A
male
age
30-35,
*ost-and-hurt
writes:I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. I have never had an online question like this but I think it is a good idea. All my friends won't listen to me they just tell me to get over her. It is not that easy. I'm a senior in high school and have had terrible experience with girlfriends. Until this girlfriend who i am currently dating, i had not had a girl friend since my sophomore year. I went through my junior year with no girlfriends not even a hook up, my senior year was going the same way till i met her with about two months left of school. We have been dating now for 5 weeks. I know that doesn't seem like a long time but it has been the best time and the worst time of my life. She makes me feel so good but makes me hate myself as well.Thing went very good with her for awhile. But she would always start fights with me, txting me Fuc* you out of no where one day cuz she thought i didn't like her friend. there was a rumor going around school that she cheated on me with a guy and slept with him. she txted me telling me "you better fix this or i'm gonna fuc*in dump you" I had nothing to do with it and don't know how it was my fault.She txts one of my close friends a lot and calls him sweetie and hunny. he tells her not to do that cuz she has a bf. she told him "I don't care, what he doesn't know wont hurt him" my friend showed me that txt and it hurt me so so bad. We went on a senior camping trip this past weekend, me and her were supposed to ride together to the camp site but a couple of hours before the trip she told me she want to go up with some of her friends and told me to find my own ride. so i did, i got a ride with a girl. she didn't like that at all even though she rode up with three other guys! every kid drank at the senior camping trip except for me, I have never drank or smoked in my life i'm a very good kid and she hates that i don't drink. the whole night she ignored me and other guys hit on her all night. i tried to sit with her a couple of times she told me to fuc* off once and the other times just made excuses to get up and leave. She started to not feel good so she told me she was going to go to bed, i didn't think much of it, but she came back from the car after about 30 minutes. Later in the night she got really sick from drinking to much so she finaly came to me for help, i stood by here while she threw up and gave her the gator-aid that i brought for me. I took her back to the car where she was gonna sleep and said good night to her, she told me she wished i could stay with her all night but that there wasn't enough room i said that was fine and she told me she loved me and goodnight. i told her i loved her too. I went to go sleep in the truck with my guy friend and two girls. the two girls slept in the front seats and me and the guy slept in the back. she slept in a car with 3 other guys all in the backseat with her. the group she came camping with drove home in the middle of the night. she txted me asking how was sleeping with Hannah. the girl i went with. She was mad i slept in the same car as another girl. Later that moring i get txts from friends saying she had sex with a kid that night, during her so called 30 min nap. she denies it and is mad at me for everything. She never lets me read her txt messages on her phone but always goes through my phone. i hate it cuz she still talks to her past 3 ex boyfriends. on prom night i was holding her phone for her and she got a txt from the kid she lost her virginity too, it said "I want to fuc* you so bad right now" she txted him back saying "eewww, don't talk to me" that was a couple of weeks ago and she still talks with him, all the time! She tells me when she thinks guys are hot and tells me she does like other guys sometimes, but she doesn't have a chance with them. that hurts me. I can't just let go of her because I know there is good in her. Her parents love me because i'm a good guy and her past boyfriends have been thugs. they want us to work, i want us to work, i just don't think she does. the past couple of days when we txt she doesn't call me babe anymore, she calls me champ and buddy. At night we used to always tell eachother that we love eachother, now she just says goodnight bye. even after i say goodnight babe i love you. I'm crushed, this is so deppresing. I struggled with deppression when i moved to CO right before my freshman year, I used to be one of the most popular kids where i used to live than i moved and no one knew me. I wanted to commit suicide for most of my freshman year, i felt so alone i had no friends and no one to talk to. i made it through it after i went to a counsler. now i feel like i don't want to live again, i feel like i can't do anything right, like i'm not good enough for anyone, i like her so much and i don't know why she is doing this to me. my friends won't listen to me they just say dump her. that doesn't help. i need advice! the worst part is i made a mistake and lost my virginity to her. maybe that is all she wanted, she had never taken anyone's virginity until me. since the night we had sex 3 weeks ago we never have again. I also wouldn't know how to tell me parents that things are done with me and her, they love her! they are so happy that i have a girlfriend and that i bring her home and she has dinner with us. I don't know what to do! i don't know if she is cheating? people that are good friends with the kid she supposedly slept with on the camping trip swear to me its a lie. but ugh i don't know! someone please please help me!!
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cheated on me, crush, her past, I love you, lost my virginity Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 This girl sounds like she is loving the attention and drama that she is all wrapped up in. A women's health clinic can be for pregnancy and STD's or it could be something else. It's hard to tell. (It could be an abortion clinic, who knows?) Try searching Womens Health Clinic + [your state]. Don't compeltely rule out the fact that you COULD be a father. If she is pregnant (you'll find out for sure in a couple of months if she doesn't come out to you before then) ask her if she wants you to be there for her and if she does then you should be.. let her know that if you're going to be there then all the things you are hearing have to stop and you will need to have a paternity test done as soon as the baby is born, just to be sure.
I think that your situation just got a lot more complicated.. but keep in mind that sometimes some girls fake pregnancy or "cry pregnancy" to keep a guy around once they feel like they are losing them. But it's better to be safe then sorry. Speak to a guidance counsellor if you can. They may contact her parents and you'll get a definite answer then..
A
male
reader, lost-and-hurt +, writes (1 June 2009):
lost-and-hurt is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRumors are going around now that my girl friend is pregnant. She has been throwing up in the morning sometimes and has been telling her close friends that she is three months pregnant. So I know it is not mine, if she truely is pregnant. Her stomach does look a little bigger but I don't know. I asked her about it and she swears she isn't and that it is a lie even though her best freinds are telling me that I should just dump her and tell me that she hasn't had her period in three months. Her friends think she might be pregnant. We went out to dinner last night, she was feeling really nice because we just graduated so she paid for our dinner. She pulled out this book that holds like credit cards and stuff. I was watching her and she pulled out a business card that said "Women's Health" or something like that. She was really embarrassed when I saw that and put it away very quickly. She said "You weren't suppossed to see that. What is this card? What does it mean? What is Women's health? like is it a clinic that helps young women with pregnancy and testing for STD's? What is it? Thank you everyone for your feedback and answers! It is so nice to talk to people who can be serious and understand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): I agree with everyone else sorry, but she has to go. I KNOW it will hurt and i know how hard it is. I've broken up with my boyfriend two years ago and i'm still not entirely over it. I'm great most of the time but im still very uneasy with the entire thing and can't believe it happend to me. but i am in a great relationship now with a good and supportive boyfriend.
You will feel like dying. I did, i felt like i didnt want to leave my bed and curl into a ball and not exist. I felt like that for almost a year. I couldn't bear to be around people and i cried at work ALOT. Life had to go on. It doesn't stop for you or wait for you to accept things or think things through. you just need to deal with it as it goes. You go on auto-pilot almost for a while and its the only way to get by things. But the pain DOES go away eventually. You just need to believe that. Let that hope pull you through. Lean on your friends. Talk about it on here. We will give you any support we can. Good luck.
Please please please get rid of her.
You will probably be single and she will still be going out with alota different guys and i know it will hurt but you need to think you have done the right thing.
Sometimes you think there isn't a right thing to do where relationships go and do you stay or leave? or there might be a chance? This is one of those times where everyone KNOWS the answer and this is it.
You will be so much better off.
Please come back and let us know whats happening and how you feel etc?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): You have to dump her. It might hurt a little at first, but from what you wrote, she is pure trash. Dont settle for anything less than what you deserve.
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A
male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (25 May 2009):
Clearly this girl has issues, is immature, and careless in her behvior.
Listen to your friends who know her better then we do, dump her and save your sanity.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (25 May 2009):
It really doesn't sound like she's into you as much as you're into her. She's having her fun and pulling you along for the ride.
I know you don't wanna hear it.. but dump her. She really doesn't deserve you. If I ever found out that my boyfriend texted some girl that what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me he'd be gone in an instant.
I know you love her but you can find a girl with so much good in her heart, someone who has grown up and who isn't going to play mind games with you.
Unless those people who told you that she had slept with another guy in her 30 minute break are known to be instigators, I'd probably believe them, and thank them. Especially if there was no reason for them to lie to you (I.e they're jealous, hate her, etc.)
You sound like a nice guy and you deserve to be happy, so let go of her and let yourself be happy. I know you're familiar with her and she's like your security blanket but she isn't good for you, and that's the bottom line.
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