A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi CupidWell I'm having the problem of my love life at the moment. I was with my ex-girlfriend for 1 year 4 months. For the last 4 months we have been separated by distance. We have opted for a long distance relationship because we really believe in the strength of our relationship. Well one and a half months before I left home she found out that I had been talking on the phone with my ex, yes all of those conversations which one shouldn't be having. I literally used to talk to her behind my girlfriends back.. I've never cheated on her before. My ex-girlfriend saw her inboxes in my Facebook once a few months before and she asked me to cut communication with her, I didn't. The second time she found inboxes (again), yes I know stupid of me. Well, we had broken up for around a week and she was able to forgive me but unfortunately never forget. She said that she would have preferred it if I had physically cheated on her with another girl rather than having "spicy" conversations with my ex. Still she went into this long distance relationship with me. However, 4 months into it the dedication to the relationship seems to be coming mostly from my behalf and I told her this. I gave her a few days to think about it and she cried to me because she got to the conclusion that shes not able to give it her all for us anymore because she doesn't trust me like she did before. I reluctantly accepted this breakup and I've been without her for 2 days and its been depressing. Last night she inboxed me on Facebook saying that she just wanted to say hi and tell me that she loves me. I inboxed her back and told her I love her too. I'm looking to give her as much space as possible because in 5 months I'm going back home and we said that we'd make all our decisions when there. She has told me that the happiest period of her life has been by my side because of me. I don't want to lose what we have.She says that she still wants to keep the daily communication between us. . She has never doubted my love for her and I've never doubted hers for me either.We are both very much in love with each other and still desire one another fiercely. One of her friends called her a hypocrite because she knows she wants to be with me but she just doesn't want to because she can't forget the other girl. She says that she's scared that I still talk to the other girl especially now that I am far away, by the way I have cut all communication links with her.What does all of this mean, wanting to keep communication with me ?!How should I react to this situation?What should I do to get her to trust me again?What should I do to get her back ?Should I still tell her I love her?Should I contact her less frequently?How can I make her get over it and believe that I'm being honest with her?Please help me devise strategies to get back with her !Sorry for disturbing . . It feels better to have left it in the open! Waiting for your help . . Urgently needed.Cheers
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi to all,
Thank You sooo much for your help. No, our relationship at the time was FANTASTIC! We love eachother very much, please help me devise strategies to get back with her . Life just isn't the same.
Thank you once more for your help.
Cheers
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): hi this situation might seem complicated but believe me there are many ways around it !
firstly you need to emphasis that this was a one of thing. You need to tell your gf that NOTHING like this is ever going to happen again and explain how guilty you feel about the situation. You obviously love her and you feel depressed without her thats a good thing to mention she just needs to know how bad you feel about it! your gfs will probably be feeling a little bit insecure, you need to tell her she is BEAUTIFUL and also in the same sentance say your alot more beautiful than she is I was stupid and confused but being without you has made me realise how much i love you and that other people dont match upto youu !!!
Can i just ask around the time you spoke to your ex, was there problems going on in your relationship at the time, did you gf do anything bad or in the past ?
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A
female
reader, _nataliebeebaybee1  +, writes (23 December 2010):
 well, i had a similar situation but mine was alot worse. I actually went up to meet one of my exs and he doesnt actually believe that nothing happened .... when nothing actually happened. this situation does appear to be that difficult although it might be for you. in my opinion like you said cut contact with your ex completely ! its too much temptation ! you seem to really love this girl and she obviously finds it hard to put things in the past. What you need to explain to her is, is that you were CONFUSED and although she might find it hard to forgive you, you want a fresh start, this is NEVER going to happen again and you wished you had been honest with her in the first place and told her about the situation. Tell her you feel GUILTY ad you cant imagine being without her also say that you feel depressed. You really want to emphasis how much this is effecting you !
Can i just ask did you have problems with your gf around the same time you decided to talk to your ex. Did dhe upset you in anyway ?
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