A
female
age
30-35,
*uperhoopschick
writes: My boyfriend is going out with me but he talks to his ex. him and me been going out 6months, and his ex is that touchy type girl. she lived far away, about 8hrs away. I sadly had to move into dorms for college n mine is 1hr away. his ex just came back to town. he hung out with her all day. Is it ok their friends? could he still love her? she even called me a slut and made him change his mind about me. he is still with me, but i am not sure what to do. i dont want to take away his right of talking with other girls, but she is his ex. what should i do? my bf offered for her him and me to all hang out. but i disagree...i need help. plz
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female
reader, bubbloo24 +, writes (31 October 2007):
I'd talk to him about it. Don't yell but just say that you feel a bit concerned about the ex just appearing back again and you feel a bit upset by it.
Personally, I wouldn't stick around with a guy who still hangs out with someone who calls his girl a slut. I'd be pretty damn angry because he obviously didn't stick up for you.
As the previous answerer said, yes, it does seem that he has nothing to hide between you and the ex but I think this is all happening a bit suddenly :S I think he knows that there may be fireworks.. but it's entirely up to you whether you want to go ahead and stick with him and hang out with his ex... I personally wouldn't but it's your choice. I'd have ditched him as soon as I found out that he hadn't stood up for me when his ex called me a slut but that's just me.
I hope that you make the right decision hun
xx
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (31 October 2007):
Its very understandable that you would be feeling worried, jealous and angry and all those types of emotions right now. Its always bad when a bf talks to an ex, neverless when they seem pretty close and are frineds. And to make matters worse in your situation, the ex called you such a disrespectful name!
Have you told him how you feel?
Whether or not people should be friends with their exs or not is a hard question...usualy I would find it hard to deal with if my bf was...but i think it depends on how they act around each other. If you feel like the ex has respect for your relationship then it might be acceptabel, however often the ex doesnt and they flirt and so on and are overly frinedly.
I think you need to tell him your worries, fears and thoughts etc. Dont say that he has to stop being friends with her. Just say how you feel, and see what he has to say.
You said that she told your bf that your a slut and made him change his mind abot you...what do you mean he changed his mind about you?
I think that your bf should let his ex know that he will not tollerate anything like that, such disrspect to his gf is wrong.
The fact that your bf offered for you all to hang out suggest that he is being genuine with you and isnt hiding anything.
So yeah, have a talk to him. And let him know that you were very upset with how she called you a slut and that you want him to make it clear ot her that that is not acceptable. Tell him what you are comfortable with, so like if you are comfortable with them seeing each other once every two weeks orwhatever...find a middle ground so you can both agree on what his relationship with his ex will be like.
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