A
male
age
36-40,
*j_hitman
writes:my girlfriend recently broke up with me after 4 years and 2.5 year old twins. she started talking to a guy she just met and im losing my mind. she said nothing has been going on and i called him and he said the same. but she continues to talk to this guy and i am worried that she is not giving herself or me the opportunity to work things out for our family. i dont just want to stay together for the kids because i love this woman to death. i have hurt her in the past (not cheated) but the past three or four months we were doing great. this really blindsided me in a way you cant imagine. she told me she needs her space but if this continues i may lose my family and the woman i hold most dearly. please i need some helpful advice im hurting so bad inside
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female
reader, FireAndIce  +, writes (3 November 2009):
I really sympathize with you.
One thing, be careful..after a break-up, paranoia can run rampant and wreak havoc with your mind. You get it confused with instinct.
There's no guarantee that she isn't see this guy, but they've both said they aren't. For now, take her word for it. Perhaps she just needs a friend. If you keep pressing the issue, it's as though you plant a seed...a self-prophecy if you will.
Would she really want to introduce another man into your childrens lives? I think her priority would be your twins and being a good mom, not pursuing another relationship, especially after getting out of a 4 year one.
You haven't said how you hurt her, but it's highly unlikely that it's something unforgiveable.
It's like she said, maybe she just needs some space to situate herself.
If you want her back, be as understanding as you can, give her that space that she's asked for, but at the same time, tell her that you have a right to see your children. She can't deny you that.
Be there for her in any way that she'll let you, show her that you're the man she fell in love with.
And try to focus the majority of your energy on being a good dad.
From what I've read here, I see no reason why things can't and wont' be resolved.
I wish you all the best!
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