A
male
age
41-50,
*om2017
writes:My LDR girlfriend cheated on me. I found out and I told her about her cheating. She cried, she denied her cheating. I said to her that I would not sponsor her into U.S as the fiancee. She replied to me that she did not want to go to U.S. After that, She kept posting pictures, on her Facebook, in which she went out with guys. She was happy with that guy(s). She did not block my Facebook so it meant that she wanted me to see it. She wanted to make me to suffer.However, She never said "Yes" when I wanted to break up with her, and she never said any words to me that she wanted to stop our LDR. When I was face to face with her on webcam, she always cried and she said she love me very much, I am her Mr.Right, and other similar things.Face to face between us privately she uses her words to make me feel that SHE LOVE ME VERY MUCH. But she behaves with infidelity.In her Facebook, she posted pictures where she wear sexy clothes and went out with guys.She talked to her female friends that I am bad guy. In work place, she said bad things about me( my friend's cousin work in same store with her). Now, All people around her believed her much and hated me.It's a long distance relationship. I am in U.S. She lives overseas. When she date with me, she thought that I would take her in U.S as a fiancee. She was nice and showed much love to me. When I found out her cheating on me, she did not admit and she begun to revenge me. Because I said to her that I would not do the paperwork to take her in U.S. All people know her and me, they never think that she cheat on me. All they believe that I was treacherous to her. She is very nice, very friendly to all people she meet.In conclusion, now I am hurt much. The bad thing in this LDR, she cheat on me. The worst things, she date to me with purposes. And When her purposes fail, she kept break my heart with all things she did above.I am depression and distraught. I have been trying to forget her but those negative emotions still chase, stick on me. I cant sleep! Please help me overcome these bad days in my life.
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cheated on me, cousin, facebook, fiance, infidelity, long distance, revenge Reply to this Question
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (11 May 2017):
 In all honesty I think she was using you to gain citizenship
In that case of course she is going to show you her best side. She's going to be polite, loving and worship the ground you walk on.
Of course, you didn't know this so how does it make you stupid? At least now you have seen her for what she is and can move on with your life without her in it.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (11 May 2017):
 No you aren't stupid. Your intentions were good. I'm sorry she wasn't the person you thought she was.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2017): Grow a pair and stop letting her play you for the sucker she has every reason to believe you are.Everything she's said and done is an act intended to manipulate you into doing whatever she wants you to do. She's posting pictures of her with other guys knowing you'll be looking at them and hoping they'll make you jealous so you'll come crawling back to her.It would appear that you are lonely, sensitive and vulnerable, exactly the type of person upon whom vipers like her prey. I don't want to come across as unfeeling, but the sooner you smarten up and see her for who she is, the better off you'll be. Even now you're doing exactly what she wants by looking at her Facebook page. Why don't YOU block HER?Given that you've posted the same tale of woe twice in a short period suggests you want someone to give you a magical solution that will resolve all your problems. You now know who she is. I'm sorry, but if you're desperate enough to fall into her trap again then I have zero sympathy for you.
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A
male
reader, tom2017 +, writes (11 May 2017):
tom2017 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank to all. Yes, I posted another topic yesterday, but I could not add this info into that topic, so I made new one.
-My cousin's wife introduced this lady to me when I came back to Vietnam to see my relatives.
I trusted this lady because she is a very best friend with my cousin's wife. I never expected that she is a prostitute, because she DID NOT ACT LIKE THAT in front of me on the first date and a while later. She was very sweet and nice to me when we face to face.
I understand that the LDR is a hard relationship. But however, I trusted my relatives who introduced her to me, and I trusted her by what SHE SHOWED TO ME. That was why I started this LDR with her. Now I am realize that I am so stupid !
tom2017.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2017): Research the stages of grief. You're going through some sad times, many people do, it's not the end of the world. If you are feeling this depressed and this unhappy and you're so upset that you can't function in real life then you need to speak with your doctor.And by the way, it's probably a good idea to stay off the Internet so you're not in contact with scam artists, and prostitutes, and people who will take advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (10 May 2017):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/cheating-in-a-ldr-what-advice-can-you.html
This is your post from yesterday. You said that you found out that she is a prostitute. She has been lying and cheating on you. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to what everyone has to do when a relationship is over. You accept that it is over, grieve and then move on. Stop checking on her, that isn't going to make you feel any better. Block her facebook, email, skype, whatever kind of contact you have with her.
You can't trust her, she's already made that clear and you will probably never be able to trust her. Cut her out of your life.
I know you are hurt, and its definitely worse when you have been cheated on, but try to look at it from a different angle. Be happy that you found out these things before you married her and brought her over to the United States! It could have been so much worse my dear.
Let her go. Focus on yourself, do things that make you happy, take up a new hobby, surround yourself with people that love you and make you happy. Put her in the rear view mirror and chalk up this experience as dodging a bullet. Time will heal your wounds although it may take awhile. In the future be VERY wary of getting involved with ANYONE long distance, especially 1/2 way around the world. LDR work better when you know the person first and then have to separate. "Meeting" someone online then trying to have a relationship is so hard because they can and will show you ONLY what they WANT you to know. I learned this the hard way.
I wish you all the best! Hang in there but do NOT obsess over this woman. She was using you. Simple as that.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 May 2017):
There was a very similar question to this a few days ago, was that you also?
She's a waste of time, sounds like she's using you to gain a way into the country.
Block, delete, move on.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (10 May 2017):
Be strong and cut the ties. This is never going to end well for you. It seems very clear you are being mislead and probably used.
Can you not find a real flesh-and-blood girlfriend near you? Someone you can actually date? This LDR thing is bogus. Have you even met this person?
And why do all the people who know you believe her and think you were treacherous to her? What did you do to make them say that?
My friend you don't really love her. You just think you do. You like the idea of having a girlfriend. There is someone better for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2017): I suggest that you block her on social media, and cut off contact. The good news is that you are an ocean away, so do not have to worry about seeing her out and about after this has been done. Use the time you free up from her and going on social media to make new friends in person and fill your time with other activities. Are you in the US for school or work? For how long? Either way, try to see if you can meet more people in person for fun activities. Ask another girl or two that you know here to have coffee with you (don't talk about this LDR ex with her!) and get to know her. See if some of your classmates or workmates would like to go out to play pool, or bowling, or Frisbee in the park, or hiking, or swimming, or something enjoyable to pass the time and bond. It will take time and effort on your part, but if you can fill your time with other things and other people you will forget about that girl who has treated you so badly. Get offline and get outside with real people. Time heals all. Best of luck. R
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