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female
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anonymous
writes: One night my b/f and i were at a club with his 2 friends and the friend's cousin who i have met about 3 times. At one point she is gonna go the ladies room with her friend and she asks my b/f do you need to go to the bathroom? To me that is being kind of playful--what girl asks a guy if they need to go the bathroom?? To me, in a way it does imply something else and even one of my friends who i told this about felt the same. My b/f basically just said umm no thanks and then laughs with his friend asking why would you ask me that? And then my b/f asked me if i needed to go and i said no. But my b/f is a smart guy and might have thought what i thought. Should i tell my b.f i didn't like what she said, just keep it to myself?? It makes me mad that she would ask my b/f that right in front of me--what is he going to say--sure and then walk away from me and go with 2 girls as they go to the ladies room..
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Not only I would tell your boyfriend that you did not like that as I would tell the "LADY" in question that it is unacceptable behaviour.
She was fishing for something and being a tease. Even as a joke, sounds of bad taste.
Telling them both how you feel, will at least let them know that you will not put up with it and give her the opportunity not to do this away.
A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Hi Anon,
I must admit, it does seem a weird thing to ask someone's b/f in front of their g/f and I would be suspicious too if it had happened to me. If you're worried about it, just discuss it with your b/f in a casual way, something like, 'wasn't that weird that she asked you to go to the toilet? Why do you think she did that?' and see what he says. It sounds like he's just as confused as you and at least he said no! if the girl does it again then ask her what she means by her actions. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, DearDolly +, writes (6 December 2006):
 I can understand that you may be upset over what she said to your boyfriend but it doesn't sound as if she was trying to imply anything by asking him if he needed the loo.
Still tell your boyfriend that it annoyed you a bit so next time you may go out and this girl is there he will stay well away to prevent upsetting you again.
Best Wishes.
Dolly.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Your boyfriend didn't go with her and turned her down so just let it go and and be happy. It was truly rude of her to ask him so whenever she's around keep your eyes open. But I think your boyfriend has shown himself to be trustworthy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): Hi sweetie,
Reading your entry, a lot of questions spring to mind, but i realised that no matter what the answers would be from you - at the heart of the matter, what you're really asking is whether you should be afraid to share your thoughts and concerns with your boyfriend.
Remember always that a boyfriend, if he is fulfilling in the truest sense what a boyfriend is supposed to be to you in your life should not simply be that person that you 'meet up with and kiss' from time to time.. But he should also be a close enough person to you as time goes on for you to feel like you can share things with him like a very close friend.
If you're upset enough to worry about someone else encroaching on what you have with your boyfriend then you obviously care about him enough to do whatever it takes to hang onto him... And if you ever want to have something 'real' lasting and meaningful, it will always be based on honesty.
Tell him how you feel and if he reacts badly to you having the guts to be truthful with him about how you feel, then you know he's not worth the fuss.
Chances are though, he'll respect you for your honesty and probably agree with you about what your friend did. As you said - he looked confused and didn't play along with her games so he wasn't going to do anything to hurt you by the looks of it.
Also - rethink your choice in friends! She obviously has little or no respect for you or your relationship and seemingly craves attention no matter where it comes from...
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