A
male
age
36-40,
*annaGetHerBack
writes:So I'm really confused. About 2 months ago my girlfriend of about a year and a half told me that we needed to take a break. At that time, I was working a lot and going through some roommate issues and I was not really there for her. When we first decided to take a break we still talked every day, still said good night to each other, and still said we loved one another. Then she went on vacation with her family and when she came back she said that we talked to much and she wanted some space. I gave it to her, and for about two weeks we barely spoke to each other. Then I saw that she was talking to this other guy and called her and asked her what was going on, she swore they were just friends, and that I was paranoid. I went to meet her that weekend, and told her I was sorry for all the problems we had, and she told me it was ok and she believes in second chances. It's been about three weeks since then, and she talks to me almost everyday since then. I saw that she and that guy had talked again, and asked her again if anything was going on, and she told me again they were just friends, but that she wasn't sure what she wanted. She said she likes being herself, but liked having a relationship with me. Then she told me to listen to a song about doing whatever it takes to get someone back and said that was a song for her and I. She tells me that she doesnt want me to forget about her while we spend time apart, and that she wants me to remember the good times we shared. She says she still thinks of me and dreams about me, but she doesn't know if she's ready to get back together. I talked to her last night about some problems we had, and she told me that I needed to be more positive, and to tell myself that she cares enough to talk to me and help me work some issue I have out with her. She says that she can tell that I'm changing and not who I was when we had problems, and she's very proud of me. I'm just very confused about this situation, I've never been on a break before. I go back to school in about 6 weeks and don't have a clue if things are moving in a positive direction between us. I want to think that when I get back to school and show her that I've changed we can try and get back together, but I'm also scared that she's just stringing me along. What do you guys think?
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male
reader, ombiance  +, writes (12 July 2007):
hey buddy i pretty much have the same scenario as you, we broke up and she says she wants space. only difference is that we talked and i found out that she just wants time to see other guys. this hurts alot. its funny how simalar our situations are. in my opinion what shes doing to you is stringing you along till she finds someone new. although it may feel like shes being honest with you and it may feel like she loves you. girls are very good actors. what you need to dois give her the cold shoulder, ignore her an give her the so called space she needs, all the while taking steps to get over her. im not gonna lie to you buddy it hurts and its hard. and as for that other comment about her having no reason to lie, the reason is to string you along as long as possible so she has lots of time to find her new intrest. than bang all of a sudden she drops the bomb 'im seeing someone'. the guy shes talking to is a potential but i guess it all boils down to how much you trust her. anyhow hope i helped good luck man just remember what other ppl say dont matter. do what you think is right
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 I think you are right: you are not moving in a positive direction. You are not this girl back. You know why I know? Because I've been there.
If you could put your feelings aside, you'd notice that the relationship is sliding down, not up. If you follow the trend, you'll see the end of it: a breakup.
When a girl says she needs space, you can very much take it to mean things are over.
Suppose I'm wrong and the girl is only having doubts. You're all over her and she keeps saying she needs space. Well, give it to her. Stop any contact. If she comes again, ask her to give you a clear indication of what she wants. Something that will end your confusion and pain. If she says she can't make up her mind, well, go your own way. What if she finally decides she doesn't want you?
The worst part of this is that you don't really know what to do. You need clear circumstances to know which way to go. You either need to know she doesn't love you, or know she does; and she isn't giving you any of this.
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 From what you wrote it's clear you'll wait.
Now you can't change relationship with her.
The fact that you keep talking to here is positive direction.
Unfortunately, at the moment there is not enough evidence to say for sure whether "she's just stringing me along" or not.
In about 6 weeks when you go back to school you will see it.
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A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Hey babe, i think you should believe that she is just friends with him, i dont see why she should have to lie, as you arnt together.. You need to know you wont stay around for ever waiting for her. Ask her if at the moment she sees a future with you two, I hope i helped & good luck. Mail me if you would like to talk x x
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