A
male
age
41-50,
*ickcarter
writes:I am very laid back and a mellow guy. My girlfriend of 4 months is generally happy and she is 9 weeks pregnant. We have a good time together and i treat her well.I called her today to wake her up as she had work and i called her when she was on the bus on the way to work. She was really off with me and just wanted me off the phone . i asked what is wrong and she said " I'm on the ***** bus" and she put the phone down. I thought that was kinda rude and then she called me back 10 minutes later saying she didn't want to talk as she didn't like everyone hearing her conversation. I said ok and said i had to go...she said i love you just before i said bye and i said it back. Then i get a text saying " Baby i love you, but you are hard work sometimes" What the hell? what did i do?I told my best friend and he said by the sounds of her behaviour the signs are there that she's cheating on me... i am worried now. Could this be true?
View related questions:
best friend, I love you, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Nothing what you mention screams *she is Cheating!!* Nothing at all.
She is stressed and perhaps a little freaked out with the pregnancy, maybe with work too. And I think you have some trust issues, which isn't totally odd, considering you have only dated for 4 months and out of those 4 she has been pregnant for 9 weeks.
I will agree with the other aunts, your Best Friend seems a little idiotic in his advice.
Learn her cues. If you call her and she doesn't seem like talking, tell her talk to you later, send her a nice text or just CALL her later.
I like your GF and the fact that she doesn't want to sit and chat on the phone on public transportation!
I also think Cerberus hit the nail on the head with his last statement, that you... might be a bit of a cling-on... It's OK to show her your love and support, but don't smother her.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Wow, this relationship is quite new. She got pregnant like 2 months after knowing you, no wonder why the trust is not quite there in the relationship. I see you don't live together. Do you have plans to? Hard work means you need reassurance a lot and you expect that a woman always have a lot to say otherwise there is something wrong. Checking up on a pregnant woman is always good, but not when a person doesn't want to talk anymore and you won't hang up. Making it easier for her means that you accept she doesn't want to talk, cut the conversation short, so she doesn't have to be rude to get her point across.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 July 2012):
 4 months is not a long time together… and she’s already over two months pregnant… I’m assuming it’s your baby and that it was not planned… so you guys have a TON of stress going on…
I used to call my fiancé to wake him before we were living together… it was his request… he was NOT the most pleasant person in the mornings… grumpy, incoherent and testy.. and he’s not full of pregnancy hormones, stressed with a probable unplanned pregnancy, having to take public transportation and then talk on the phone on a noisy bus where folks can overhear what is being said… I can easily see why she wanted off the phone.
She called you back and explained why she did what she did….
Your best friend sounds like an idiot about women to be honest… why in the world would she be cheating on you because you are told you are hard work? Or because she’s having a rough morning…
Did you call at her request or are you mothering her???
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): You don't sound very laid back and mellow to me. I mean you're freaking out because a pregnant woman was a little bit grumpy one morning. Why are you reading so much into this? Man if my girlfriend didn't understand what my morning grumpiness is like and jumped to conclusions like yours she'd have me sectioned as a dangerous psychopath.
It sounds to me like you are hard work OP. You ring her to wake her up, that was nice of you assuming she asked you to do that and you're not a crazy guy who is trying to wrap her in cotton wool by calling to make sure she gets to her appointments and then calling 10 minutes later to see if she's on her way etc. There is nothing more smothering or hard work than a person who won't leave you alone to get on with your day and has to mother you. If you do that kind of thing perhaps take a step back a bit and talk to her and see if that's annoying.
OP you honestly sound very highly strung and not even nearly laid back at all. You're worried she's cheating because she was a bit testy after you called to wake her up and then wanted a conversation on the bus. You're worried she's cheating because a pregnant woman was grumpy one morning? What's laid back about that? What's mellow about all this worrying?
The only thing you have to think about and figure out in a mellow, relaxed way is what she meant by hard work. Something tells me you may be a bit clingy, a bit too in her face and a bit too much of a worrier.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 July 2012):
 I very much she is cheating just because she was a bit grumpy on the phone!
Remember - SHE IS PREGNANT. Pregnant women are often hormonal, this is just part and parcel of being pregnant. It makes you moody, one minute you can be in a great mood and the next you can snap at anyone who speak's to you.
You caught her in the morning (morning's are not the best time of day for anyone), keep in mind she is pregnant so was probably affected by hormones at the time and she was on a bus where she didnt want to talk - of course she wasnt going to be all that nice on the phone to you!
The hard work comment was a bit odd (I say that to my boyfriend at times but only when he is annoying me!) - maybe she was just a bit annoyed you had rung her whilst on the bus and finds you hard work in the sense that you were bugging her to find out what's wrong when it was obvious (to her at least) that she didnt want to talk at that point.
I think you need to give your friend and strong talking to and tell him not to butt his nose in like that and make wild accusations, this is a pregnant woman who was in a bad mood not a cheater. If he is a true friend he would not make such ridiculous accusations and think logically rather than jumping to silly conculsions.
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
|
