A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend from uni who i've known for just over a year. She started with her boyfriend about the same time I met her, didn't bother me to start with, I wasn't really attacted to her. During this time she tried to kiss me but I turned away.We've spent a LOT of time together recently though and i'm starting to fall for her. I think she likes me as well, she flirts like mad when were out, always holding my hand, cuddling me, etc. All the people in our lecture group think we're a couple, we basically are minus the "i love you's" and the physical side.Me and her bf don't get on, according to her friends she talks quite a bit about me, which winds him up. Her friends also say we'd make a better couple. What should I do? I don't want to make it awkward between us, but it would be great if we could get together.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Is she happy with him? You should talk with her about their relationship and ask her if she is indeed happy. Before you ask her about it, however, make sure she is willing to talk to you about it. Say something like, "It's none of my business, but are you happy with him?" Or something to that effect. And before that, ask her is she likes you. Trust me, you'll probably get a straight answer like I did when I told my girlfriend I like her. Her response was that she knew and had been waiting all year for me to tell her. Best of luck to you, mate!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): Hey, it's the orignal poster here.
Stuff has moved on since then. We kissed on a night out. Not a long snog, but a peck on the cheek which slid to the lips. Then for the rest of the night she kept giving me a little kiss every few minutes.
I basically told her how I felt (via text, I bottled it when I was with her). She didn't believe me at first then said I deserved better. I know i've got a bit of a reputation as a player (which couldnt be further from the truth, still a virgin at 20, not cool), and she's quite a shy girl. A lot of my m8s say I can do better than her, but they only care about looks with doesnt bother me. Is this a problem?
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Shikari 424 is right, she will probably do the same if you ever get into a relationship with her. By all means be friends with her, but refrain from getting too intimate with her, as I feel that she is toying with your affections. She seems way too imature to have an adult relationship and is very manipulative. Is that what you want from a potential girlfriend?
You sound like a lovely guy with a lot of love to give, but sadly she is not the one who deserves your love and affection. Save your heart for someone who will value you, and will give the love that you richly deserve.
Take care and good luck for when you eventually find your Miss Right. Dusky xxx.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): Hi there, i was in a VERY similar situation as you were a few years ago, and i moved on. I say you should do the same, move on! Because even if you really like her, you know deep down you will never trust her and that will drive you crazy.
If she does this to you while having a Boyfriend, she will most likely do this to another guy while with you.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, M][KE +, writes (11 January 2008):
If she has been doing this for a year I would be careful, you don’t want to get ahead of yourself, she will KNOW what she is doing to you. Be wary!!!
Some girls get on really well with male friends, but will only view them as friends because they look for something different in a partner or boyfriend. If you did start a relationship with her there will always be the doubt that she will having fun with another guy, like you used too. Unfortunately just like some guys, girls can crave attention and charm people of their feet. Even when in healthy relationships people can actively seek attention from others, even if unaware of it and deteriorate there partners feelings.
However I also think you should follow your gut instinct because her feelings may be genuine. If your situation keeps developing then maybe you should confront her and ask her if she has true feelings for you (It will give you peace of mind). Keep in mind that she might be having rough times with her current boyfriend and might be using you as a rebound.
I hope this help putting things in perspective for you and wish you luck with whatever choice you make.
M][KE
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A
male
reader, shikari424 +, writes (11 January 2008):
I bet she'd treat you the same way she's treating her bf if you ever got into a relationship with her.Which i bet won't happen anyway. I'm very familiar with the type of girl you're describing, the type that just loves attention. If she really loved you more than her bf, she would have at the very least dumped him by now, and perhaps even told you how she was feeling if you two are really that close. If she's doing all the bf stuff with you while dating someone else..well it doesn't sound like she's very gf material! Going out with her would end all the excitement anyway. If that's what she even wants. Don't get your hopes up! Take what comes and don't go chasing anything!
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