A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this guy had sex with me and says he likes me, but he doesn't want to have a relationship with me... somethings not right here. Is this possible? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): "Is this possible?"Are you kidding? It's normal. The majority of males are 100% capable of separating sex and love. It's just pure evolutionary biology that males can do this and females are less able/willing to so do. That doesn't mean you shoud think that males will ALWAYS separate sex and love. Sometimes men can get the two just as linked as any female ever does. Most guys can have "just sex" with some people, but they don't always separate the two things when they are in a more serious relationship or they're really falling hard for the girl.It just depends on the people and the relationship. And just because a guy is capable of having "just sex" that does not mean he chooses to do so. Men can be just as morally-motivated as women for sure.But you've gotta understand that the majority of males out there are entirely capable of seeing sex with someone as "just sex" regardless of what you feel. (Or how you think they should feel. Try to remember that your way is just as strange to them as theirs is to you.)
A
female
reader, Fionaisme  +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Hey. I think he just thought you were nice as in attractive but not for a relationship. guys often say they like a girl but they might mean as a friend or just for a booty call. I think you should get to know a guy better before sex as you will become aware of his intentions towards you. If a guy really really likes you he would want a relationship but this guy seems to just want the sex which is no reflection on you but most guys your age are the same. Get to know a guy better in future and don't let any guy use you. you're better than that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): He got what he wanted - a quick shag and no strings attached I'm afraid to say!Put it down to experience, learn from it and move on! No point on dwelling on the past now!
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (11 January 2008):
I always ask my friends in the western hemesphere,which comes 1st,love or sex? I see alot of such complaints from ladies.Is sex a tool to make someone love you? I have often asked how long is acceptable to wait before you can sleep with a new partner.Alot of people seem to act on impulse and the question the logic of the aftermath.
My dear were you in a relationship with this guy before you slept with him? I assume you haven't known each other quiite long and "safely" assumed he's also in love with you then you slept with him. I hope you've learnt a valuable learson here. Never sleep with someone you aren't sure about their feelings for you.
Then i always ask people what's the difference between LIKE and LOVE. One common thing i hear is that love takes time to develop and like can fade away.So a person can like you but NOT love you at all.Like refers to something specific about you (e.g eyes,voice,walk,body and even sexual anatomy) but love is deeper and a bit spiritual.Next time please give yourself time to love that person and see if they love you back before you sleep with them.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (11 January 2008):
The reason this may not make sense to you is because his meaning of 'like' and yours is probably very different. It sounds me to like he likes you, as in he thinks you are attractive and you give him what he wants (sex)..thats what he likes about you. Im sure you have sooo many wonderful qualities that he just doenst care about because all he is interested in his sex.
Im sorry that you have fallen for a guy who just used you. Its unfortunate that you had to expeirnece this to learn this lesson, but you did, so just keep in mind, that next time you date a guy, hold out for a bit longer, until you knwo where you stand with him- ie. whether or not he wants to be in a relationship with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): hate to say, but he was using you for sex and yes i guess he was desperate!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 January 2008):
 What he means is he likes you for the sex part only and do not want to commit into a relationship with you.He is using you thats all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): ditch him and dont let him use you again. yeah its quite possible you found yourself a scummy jerk. ignore him and dont let him get the best of you. the more you ignore him the better, if he's really intrested he'll come back, i repeat dont put out for this guy again youll regret it!
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