A
male
age
41-50,
*ngel28
writes:Need some advice here, me and my girlfriend(ex) broke up just last week. I am her first serious boyfriend I never expected that it will end up like this. we've been together for 1 and a half year and we never had a fight. I was really shocked and i cannot believe that it will happen. She told me that we need to talk, she told me that her feeling for me is not the same as before and I ask what are the wrong things that ive done, she said that there's nothing wrong with. She said that the problem is with her. She wants some things to do in her life that she never did before. She wants to decide about her career but she cannot do it she cannot do a career move because she is concern about me. She also said that she could not handle our relationship anymore and she's still not ready for it. There were so many reasons. After 3 days i went to her apartment to talk to her again about our situation but she still refuse in getting back with me. She told me another problem and she said that she's the only one who can solve it. She told me that her problem is that she still cannot move on with her past love which is 8 years ago, she said that she still have feelings with the guy who broke her heart and this guy never been her boyfriend. The story of them is, they were in a courtship stage when the time she decided that she wants him to be her boyfriend, the guy got married another woman. I know this story before she became my girlfriend. When she told me about this, i decided to give her space and time for her to realize what going on. She also said that we cannot continue this relationship if she still cannot let go of the past. But I feel that she doesn't mean all the things she said and I'm still hoping that everything will be back to normal. I don't have a contact with her for one week now. This situation affects me so much because all the time we've been together are happy times and all of a sudden it ends up like this. right now i really don't know what to do. I cannot the things that i enjoyed doing before. Everywhere i go and everything I do is she's always coming to mind. I really love her and she's the woman that i want to marry. Please help with your advice. thanks
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male
reader, binhquangdao  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 i agree with laura let her be don't push her if she comes back she comes back if not she was not meant to be
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 If you really love her and want her to be happy ,
you need to respect her decisions even if it goes against your interest.
This is called Agape love or unconditional love and not expecting anything in returns.
The more you cling onto her, the more pain you will receive.
You need to set her free and let her decide for herself.
If she comes back for you , then she is yours.
Otherwise, she belongs to somebody else.
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