A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend contacted me 4 months after breaking up with me and wanted to see me, we met up a few times and ended up sleeping together. I am not over him and he knows that He told me I am beautiful and that he still thinks of me especially when he thinks of children and marriage. He said that looking back maybe things didn’t have to end. We told each other we loved each other. Now, I have not heard from him in 3 weeks, despite me trying to contact him (nothing too full on just the odd email/text). So in the past 3 weeks I have sent him 3 emails, the last one I asked him to reply so that I know he is OK. That was 4 days ago and I have heard nothing. Shall I just move on? My gut instinct says that he is avoiding me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009): you want this man back the way he was when, you first met him? Tricky that one.
I split up from my boyfriend 4 times, over 4yrs.The split lasted several months. I love him to bits but,i wanted the same from my boyfriend each time we got back together, how he used to be. He was considerate,loving, told me every day how beautiful i was and, how much he loved me.It didnt last for very long until he was back, to his old ways.
The tv was the love of his life. A few mths down the line, he would dumped me again. He knew how much i loved him and knew i would take him back with a click of the finger, he did, take advantage of this. He to would ignor my txt,emails and phone calls. I didnt pester him, just a quick txt or email to see how he was doing, any contact would do, that was all i wanted.
My advise is turn the table, dont contact him, very hard i know, if you cant avoid the temptation, ask how he is and let him know, how your doing too. your doing well, your happy, you have this new guy that is interested in you. My ex boyfriend panicked when i did this, he begged me to take him back, telling me how sorry he was, what a fool he had been, how much he loves me. The first couple of times he dumped me i was gutted,depressed and i couldnt see my life without him. If he thinks your desperate to get back with him, he will carry on as he is doing. your worth more than this. Move on and live your life, try this new guy if you like him, dont sit around waiting for a low life that, may never happen. If you do end up back with him, dont let him think he can walk all over you and you will keep running after him. He may just keep doing what hes doing now. After a few times you toughen up and he will lose you, not the other way around :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe problem is that I have got a very nice man interested in me that I know would treat me right. However, my heart is still with my ex. We were with each other 2 years and I thought we were very much in love. He started taking me for granted, making less effort, neglecting me, spending lots of time on the computer games, and was not willing to do stuff with me, so I had a chat to him and he said I was too high maintenance and ended things! I would do anything to get back the person he was when we first met.
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A
female
reader, Tamara Hanley +, writes (22 January 2009):
It is really hard to move on and forget someone, trust me i am going through this myself.If you have broken up 4 months ago and neither of you are in a relationship this could be a good sign that there is hope for rekindling a relationship together. Were you together a long time before the breakup? Was the breakup mutual or really messy? What caused the breakup?You need to answer all these questions and ask yourself if its worth going back. I know its hard to move and get over someone you love so dearly, and it sounds as though he has been in touch to see how you are doing, to see if you have forgotten him or moved on from him completely.You need to be strong and dont let your emotions get the better of you. He may be avoiding you as after you have met up he needs time to think about starting up a new relationship with you. Just give him some space, you have already made the first move in contacting him, let him come to you.In the meantime, dont sit around fretting and waiting for him, get your life back. I know its hard but you have to concetrate on you and yourself, as at the end of the day thats all you have in life and you have to make yourself happy with or without your ex. Showing your ex boyfriend that you are a strong and independent woman that can manage on her own with or without him will attract him to you, just wait for him to get in touch, as im sure he will.Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, carriebaby +, writes (22 January 2009):
 I would say he is a coward. He cannot face telling you that he dont want you so he resorts to ignoring you. You have wasted enough time on this loser. If he tries to contact you again with another bunch of excuses, dont buy into it. He knows u still has feelings for him and he is using that to his advantage, i suggest you move on.
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