A
female
age
41-50,
*littergirl
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have lived together for 2. He told me 2 nights ago that he wants to get his own apartment because he needs his space. He goes on to tell me that he is still in love with me and still wants to remain together. I am super mad and sad and don't know what is wrong with him. He told me that ever since he quit his good paying job in another city and moved in with me that he feels like he doesn't have his own identity. Please tell me what is wrong with him and what should I do.
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female
reader, glittergirl +, writes (22 January 2009):
glittergirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBig thank yous to all that replied to my question!!! I still don't know what I am going to do but I have some ideas. The big thing here is that he is my best friend and I can't think of life without him but I feel like if I keep seeing him after he moves out that I am just prolonging the relationship to nowhere. He doesn't want kids or marriage. I have a 10 year old son that lives with us and I chose not to have anymore kids because he doesn't want them. No marriage, no kids, and NOW no living together! WTF!!! I am a smart, beautiful, woman with a terrrific kid, a great career, and I own my own house! Still don't get it...
A
female
reader, Tamara Hanley  +, writes (22 January 2009):
I know its hard to let go of a realtionship you really love having. But sometimes men need space and time to think and reflect on themselves and their lives.I know it seems really selfish of him to just blurt this out to you and its not what you want, but if you love him let him go, give him his space but keep in touch with him, remaining frendly and positive. Dont be clingy, begging him to stay or argue about it. If hes not happy then you need to let him go.It sounds as though the job and financial matter has alot to do with him wanting to be on his own. Maybe if you give him time to find himself and clear his mind, you can work it out. I know exactly how you feel. I was living with my partner for 5 years and just before xmas he decided he wanted out and to find himself and sort his life out. We had alot of financial problems and i think he just wanted to focus on himself. I did te wrong things like begging him to stay, crying acting clingy and needy, but the best thing to do if you love him is respect his decision. Thats what ive done and give him space, remain friendly but dont put your life on hold. Let him do what he needs to do and focus on yourself and your own life.Hope this helps
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009): Everybody needs his/her own space at some point in one's life. I would like to think that your boyfrend just needs some time by his own to reflect on his life and know what to do next since he lost his job which can be stressful.I would suggest you let him do what he feels is right and stop insisting that he stays because that would only make things more complicated. If he has other intentions you will surely know so for now let him go and keep a close eye on him.All the best gal!
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