A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband had to go to a conference. I even helped him pack. And put some sweet notes into his case so when he unpacked he would know i care. We had a bad patch last year when he was unfaithful when he promised he would never never do it again. I was so looking forward to him coming home yesterday. But he called to say that he was staying over one more day to attend a presentation by someone who he did not want to miss. He said he didn't get into this presentation but when they scheduled an extra session he just had to stay.That's all fine. i had a lovely dinner all planned but I knew I could get over it.Then Sunday night he rang to tell me he'd been offered a job over there. It is a very long way away and it would mean moving, lots of upheaval but that's happened before. we can get through this. I wasn't worried. I asked if we would sell our home or rent. He cut me off and said we would talk later.This morning I received a text. .'sorry bt its ova Met up with angie We r getng bak 2gethr'And i'm sitting here too shell shocked to know what is happening. He does not want me to come. I know who Angie is. It is the girl he's cheated on with before. She's in sales like him. What do i do? Shall I fly over there to plead with him. He's turned his phone off and the hotel said Mr ... has checked out of the hotel. His work might know how to find him. Buti can't contact them, because what if he has not told them he's accepted another job? I emailed him to his personal email account and the email bounced. I suspect the company he's going to work for is the same one Angie works for since she tried this inducement before to try to get him to leave him. She phoned me up last time he came back to me and she was so aggressive so i will not even consider asking her where he is. though probably at her home as she lives in that city.I just don't know what to do. It feels like a lead weight just dropped on me.
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female
reader, amandanash  +, writes (3 May 2011):
That is unbelievable. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, it is unimaginable.
You deserve so much better than a cheating liar. Just remember that you are worth more than gold, and should be treated as no less.
Get a lawyer for sure, and since you can't track him down, if you are looking to file for divorce (which you should), they will find him for you.
You don't deserve this in any way, especially after already forgiving him. You need to cut all contact with him, do not go running after him and DO NOT let him come crawling back to you.
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 do not go after him get a lawyer.
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A
female
reader, IAMDONE +, writes (3 May 2011):
Oh my...I feel your pain and I know your heart aches. It is not easy to accept a break up when you love the person owho no longer wants to be in a relationship. It appears that Angie and your husband have continued this affair and have made plans to do other things that did not include you. Your husband perhaps thinks the grass is greener in the other side. He will have to deal with the same relationship issues on that side of the turf as well. I know you want to jump on a plane and plead for him to come home...do you really think that will solve the problems that you and he share? Do you think that Angie will be a thing of the past? The answer to both of those questions as an outsider looking in is NO!!! There are definite problems and him being in your life with a girlfriend my dear is the biggest of those issues and the root of them as well. I would try my best to stay calm. I would not call him. I would not try to make contact with Angie as well, after all, don't be a threesome, let them be a twosome since that is what he has made very plain to you. I would sit back and wait to see what his next move is. Do not appear needy and clingy. We always like to feel that we are the center of life in our man's life, bur things happen in relationships that keep us from getting there and staying there. And if all else fails...LET HIM GO! IF SOMEONE DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU, BE GRATEFUL THEY LET YOU KNOW! You knowing allows you the opportunity to move on. I wish you well dear.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie +, writes (3 May 2011):
 What a bastard to text like that, unbelievable! You will be in shock. But don't run after him, run straight to your solicitor, or Legal Aid if your cannot afford a solicitor . Check your bank accounts, credit cards, is the house in both your names? All these things are hard to deal with at the present, but your financial security is paramount. Do you have family and/or friends to whom you can turn for help and advice? If you don't know who to turn to, Lifeline 131114 will give you the names of services in your local area. You are going to need all the help support you can get. Do not give him a third chance, you deserve better than him. Good luck to you. xx
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