A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i registered for online dating 3 days ago and messaged a selection of guys my own age,(26) and got no response, and got messages from some unsuitable people. i was just about to write it off when i received a message from a guy who it said wasn't even a match for me as he lives in london (i'm from the north) he was 42, divorced, with two children, and the same height as me. I was a 100% match for him. He sent me a message which i initially ignored, then one night when i had nothing better to do, i responded to him. he replied straight away, telling me about himself. he sounded like some kind of superman, with a variety of interests and seemed successful (he edits a u.k magazine) and i thought it pretty amusing so just played along, sending him two or three lines of banter back. this was 2 days ago. We have already racked up 65 messages, and i've realised that i really do quite like him and i feel he understands me fairly well, and makes time to speak to me. He also has the same specific interests as me. He seems to be the kind of man that somebody in their 20s could never be, hes a father, intelligent, secure in his own skin, responsible, a journalist in london, hes had a lot of life experience and travelled extensively and i think we've hit it off. i can be pretty suspicious and sarcastic at my worst which i was with him at the start and he seems to have persisted and finds this quite amusing rather than seeing it as a negative thing and seemed happy to spar with me in the messages.I'm concerned though as on paper he is so not my type. If i told my mother he was 42 and divorced with children she would hit the roof. Though i'd come on there to meet guys my own age (i've always been out with guys around ten years older) and to start again and to get away from older guys, it seems the only type of people i get on with are over 35 (i'm into very old fashioned things) and i ultimately am looking for a serious relationship, not with somebody 16 years older! I'm looking for a man who is settled and has a good career, is intelligent and makes times for me, which this guy already seems to do.Though i cringe every time i think of his age and his children and theres no way i'm moving anywhere because i'm studying here. But a friend told me not to be so judgemental and hasty. Anyway, my subscription runs out in 2 days and i have to decide whether to remain in contact with him, to give him an email address. i know that this is potentially playing with fire as i know i'll strike up some kind of correspondence with him and it will probably spiral out of control. He's already suggested that we should meet sometime. i said no way because i didn't know him. he said ok, and continued to write anyway. The truth is, i'm pretty intimidated by him, not in a bad way, i mean by his intelligence and his location, his lifestyle and his world- i don't have any cash and i live in a village with my mother! He thinks i'm really interesting though, and seems to want to stay in contact. What do you think i should do? I'm new to this!!
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female
reader, sugar_sugar  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 Sometimes people don't come in the packaging we imagined they would, it's not bad just different. I think you should keep in contact with him.
A
female
reader, sk.khaos +, writes (12 February 2008):
age has nothing to do with anything.as for the children and the divorce, hes had his past, im sure youve had yours, accept it.theres no harm in continuing to speak to him, give him your email adress.jabber about life and enjoy it as it comes hun.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 If he cannot be your mate , you can still gain a good friend or companion. As long as you enjoy his friendship, there is no harm knowing him as a friend.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (12 February 2008):
 I think you should set up an email account with msn or yahoo that doesn't reveal your name. If things don't go well with this guy, you can drop the account and you'll still have your own email address to fall back on.
Most of these email accounts are free to set up. You are right to take things slow. Too much uncertainty in the world especially on-line dating. Too many kooks trying to be someone they are not.
But if this guy is for real and you really like him I don't think you should let a 16 year age gap make the difference. I say, give him a chance.
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