A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone, i am female, in love. my last relationship was 3 years ago and it was awfully devastating as he left me after our wedding plans and everything was set, now i am inlove with a guy- who happened to be in an open relationship with a girl whom they have kids.an open relationship is when they have commitment but agreed that they can date , even sex , fall in love with others but they remain honest and for as long as both agrees with it. in short with knowing their set up, i still pursued, first we where chatmates now hes here in my country, we met and well we like and love each other. but even he says he loves me , he communicates to her and he loves her too, both of them love each other even i am in between. the problem is i am hurting, i can not take it. i can never be like them as i demand exclusivity and i am just a normal gal whos values on relationship is of the conventional. i knew from the start that it was complicated, but i went with the flow, cause who wouldnt be?i find many qualities that are enticing from him... but now hes gf comes here and he went to get him at the airport.he says i shouldnt feel bad cause i knew from teh start that he loves us both, and breaking up with her vwas never an option or never been the reason why he has me...that i should thankful that she even allowed him to get close to me...it hurts because i coudnt take it, as i feel i am not thankful to anyone than myself- i am just a inlove, and i wanted to take chance and hopes that perhaps since they arent married and they are into open relationship , things could perhaps be change and fate could favor me - i wanted to take chance....he loves me. he loves her too, and they love each other. I am here because i wanna share and ask few things, because i dont know what to do. i am helpless.. today i close all my mobiles for me not to hear from him because im really hurting..the gf will only be here for 2 weeks and go back , .. shall i continue and pursue with my love? or shall i say goodbye. i am so inlove, yet i am so hurting, so many things i couldnt handle, so many things not agreeable., yet so many good reasons about him that redeems hmself and his love for me...what shall i do......
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female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1  +, writes (29 January 2011):
Well, I think it would be wrong of him not to see you for a whole 2 weeks. I am confused, has he said there is no chance he will ever leave her? Is he saying her will never be exclusive with you? If he is agreeing to date you to see if you two progress into a relationship then I say sure see him. If he says there is not chance at all then leave because you will just waste more time. But if there is a chance then get to know him more and see what happens. You two are not exclusive so he is allowed to date other people until you establish more of a commitment. I hope this helped. Feel free to message me if you have more questions.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 Stay with him as long as your willing to share him, and understand she's first in his life and your always second best.
Sorry, but he did explain how things are. As wonderful as you are, as much as you love him, he's already committed his heart to someone else.
Sounds like it hurts too much and you can't live like this. I suggest you find a man who is happy to commit to one woman at a time.
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A
male
reader, tekbot  +, writes (29 January 2011):
ask your self this, do you want to do this for the rest of your life? love and true love and not the same you can think you love some one but really they are just a good friend and your confused about things its been a long time since you have been in a relation ship so is this really love or are you just glad to have someone. If he loved you and meant it if would be just you (and of course his kids) there is to much going on in life to wait on someone after a booty not love
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