A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I are in our early 30's. We've only been married one year (exactly). We've only had sex 3 times in our year of marriage. All three times we were drunk. We have no romance in our marriage, we barely touch or hang out, and it seems like we are more friends then husband and wife. It's starting to get awkward to think of having sex with my husband. I guess I have just got comfortable not having sex. I do still love him and we say I love you, but we never show it. We've talked about having sex more often, but we never do. It's like we both just don't the desire to have sex with each other. Do you have any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): This may be laughable to you Celiaf, but it's not to the woman in this marriage.
People ask for real advice so that don't Have to seek Professional help if they don't Need to.
Specific ideas are what seekers Want.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Wow, what advice, lol.
I think you two should sit down and really talk about your lack of sex. Perhaps even seek professional help - counselors tend to help a lot what with sorting out underlying issues & what not.
Do you both truly love one another? Do you not enjoy having sex with him? Has he said/done anything to make you not want to? Have you to him?
In regards to you guys not really hanging out, why not join a gym together? Or some sort of fun activity? Really make an effort to do something fun together. Hey, if you two join a gym, you can shower at home together afterwards! lol. ;-) Nah, but seriously. You'll feel great & look great too.
Hope this helps!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): Well you both feel very uncomfortable about touching each other, and that needs to change. Making love is a way to love each other deeper. I even feel as if I'm in a different state of consciousness...in the clouds so to speak. (i've been married 17 yrs.) I encourage you to initiate the beginning of intimate touch. It's o.k. Do you feel he should want it more as a man? Well every marriage is different. And the more he gets comfortable, and KNOWS you want it, the more confidence and desire he will feel for you. Maybe you should start slow. Ask if he would massage your shoulders (say you've had a hard day) tell him how good it feels. That might be all to start with. Wear something feminine to bed..fix your hair. Do you kiss each other? Kiss him goodbye with a full body hug. It may feel awkward as you say, but it will get better in time...starting slow is they key,...I hope this helps
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A
female
reader, xelax  +, writes (19 October 2008):
Dont listen to "milfhunter" thats totally stupid advice, how can you advise a married women to have an affair? Try anything you can to bring the spark back into your marriage, have romantic nights in, do things together so you can start enjoying each others company and remember the reasons why you feel in love in the first place if you still love each other you can make this work but whatever you do DO NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): If you've both tried and failed why not try going to see a sex therapist or do something to add a sparkle back to your relationship?? I'm also stuck in a sexless marriage but I made the massive mistake of having an affair. Like you we'd spoken about it but just never got round to doing it and I got sick of initiating it. The pain the affair's caused has been awful and I wouldn't recommend my worst enemy does that as it's soul destroying.I wish I'd tried harder and really tried to put the chemistry back in my relationship with my husband because I do love him (something I didn't realise before) and I'm sure it is possible to get back the chemistry that got you together in the first place.Good luck.
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A
male
reader, milfhunter +, writes (19 October 2008):
I think that if you have talked about and still not getting it (sex) then you may need to start looking else where for the attention, meet new people (men) and have a bit of fun just don't let your husband find out or otherwise it will blow up in your face.
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