A
female
age
41-50,
*ungirl69
writes:Hello ladies out there, I have a strange situation and want to see if anyone else has faced this. About six years ago, I ended two year relationship with a guy. We were not compatible, no abuse, cheating, etc. The issue is that the guy had a strange penis. At first it was a total turnoff. It was pretty large, but the strangest part was the head; it was the largest mushroom head I have ever seen (would put Vadar's helmet to shame). So, I was turned off, but liked the guy and ultimately started the sexual relationship with him. Well, I misjudged that helmet head and learned that it was AMAZING!!! It really hit all the right places and turned out to be the best sex ever. Okay, so we didn’t work out, ended the relationship and fast-forward six years to today. I have met the man of my dreams (going on five years with him), he is wonderful, we click, I want to spend the rest of my life with him and he recently proposed. Major issue is that he does not do it for me sexually like my old boyfriend. I don’t want the old boyfriend at all, we did not work out. However, I don’t know what to do here. My fiancé is probably average sized, and we have okay sex, but he cannot bring the instant g-spot orgasms the old boyfriend did. I can’t talk to him about it as no good will come from it (what is he supposed to do? He can’t change what he was born with). I know he is wonderful and we are very happy, but I am afraid this could be an issue later as I am pretty frustrated…I actually wish I never met helmet head as it seems to have ruined me here on out. Anyone other girls out there have a similar issue? How did you deal with it? I would appreciate any advice.
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female
reader, Jesshton +, writes (1 June 2009):
 Sorry to just now be getting back to you fungirl169. I never discussed the size issue with him. I just did my research. I found positions that made it SO MUCH BETTER for me. He would get so excited when I would want to try something new. He thought I was being so adventurous, when all the while I was really trying to make it better for me...which would be better for him as well. I also asked him what he liked. Ask your partner...talk to him about it. Once you are able to connect on that level the sex will be so much better for the both of you!!! Hope I could help!!
A
female
reader, Jesshton +, writes (1 June 2009):
Sorry to just now be getting back to you fungirl169. I never discussed the size issue with him. I just did my research. I found positions that made it SO MUCH BETTER for me. He would get so excited when I would want to try something new. He thought I was being so adventurous, when all the while I was really trying to make it better for me...which would be better for him as well. I also asked him what he liked. Ask your partner...talk to him about it. Once you are able to connect on that level the sex will be so much better for the both of you!!! Hope I could help!!
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A
female
reader, fungirl69 +, writes (21 May 2009):
fungirl69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question anonymous,
My guy is not second to my ex. I am with my guy, not my ex, despite the sex not being as good.
I am writing this article to see how to enhance the sex, which the two women who responded proved can be done. I am sure I am not as good in some ways as ex's for my boyfriend, but we will work it out. We are both first with each other overall. Shoot, I could be second to a close friend of his who is a girl in some areas (not sexual), but we are choosing each other. I don't see the value in sealing myself or my future love in a bag to preserve ourselves...our pasts have made us who we are.
Agian, he is not second to anyone...I just liked one small (I guess large in this case) aspect of the last boyfriend a bit more. Overall, my guy wins.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): What if this woman's husband had come to this website because he was feeling insecure about his wife's former lover?
He would ask if he had any right to feel second-best to her former lover. Everyone would say he's just being insecure and jealous for nothing. After all she has never complained or talked about her ex being better. She says it's all in the past and has nothing to do with her life with him now, etc. Does all this sound familiar?
Extramarital sex hurts future spouses a lot more than it helps anything.
I don't expect everyone to start waiting until marriage in this day and age. But let's stop lying to each other about how we have no right or reason to want a less experienced spouse.
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A
female
reader, fungirl69 +, writes (20 May 2009):
fungirl69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, thanks for the quick responses. I am glad to see I am not alone with this problem. I know you are both right that I need to just focus on the great relationship and the other fun stuff we can do. Honestly, he is very talented orally so I cannot complain. I guess it is just hard for me because it was just great to really enjoy actual penetrative sex, guess I got to see firsthand how it is for guys :)
I said earlier that I wish I had never experience that perfect penis, but now I guess I just have to be thankful that I had the fun I had and focus on having new fun with my current guy.
Jesshton, you said “we learned to make it work”. Did you openly discuss the issue with your guy? How did he take it? I said I did not want to hurt my guy, but if an honest, open discussion will lead to “earth shaking” sex, I may reconsider. Any advice here is appreciated.
Thanks again to both of you!
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A
female
reader, Jesshton +, writes (20 May 2009):
I started my current relationship in a similar situation. My BF is not as large as my ex. However, we learned to make it work and the sex is earth shaking. My suggestion is that you take matters into your own hands. Like Britt492 said, do something to spice it up. Look up postions that are meant to intensify the female orgasm. You can also visit the Kama Sutra website, they have a full line of books, products, all kinds of fun stuff. He will be THRILLED to try something new, and you can find what satisfies you the most! And remember not to focus too much on how he isn't as great in the sack as your ex. This will only keep you from relaxing and make it harder for you to have an orgasm. Hope this helps...and good luck!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): Yes I have! And what I had to do was put love before "amazing."
If you love eachother the emotional feelings will compensate. You need to find other things to "spice it up" such as oral, role playing, whatever you both enjoy.
I know it's difficult not to compare not to compare, but if you continue to do so...your current guy will never messure up (both figuratively and literally)
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