A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I don't understand what's happening with me and my husband. We been married for only 2 years, his 20 years old and i'm 23. I feel as if he's changed, when we were boyfriend and girlfriend before, we were so active with making love. But now that we're married and after 1 year, his just not into having sex with me anymore, everytime i drop a hint on him he would just laugh and ask me "what are you doin?". I don't think he's cheating on me, he's always home on time and when he's not working he just stays home. Plz help me, i don't want to lose him Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your advice, I'll try to talk to my husband about it, and open up to him about how i feel.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 The taste of sexual activity before marriage, and after marriage is notable point. There are more than we count, who has the same feeling, that sex after marriage feel less attractive. The reason is lack of communication. After marriage couple do sex often without communication. Sexual activity evolve around sex organ. Under the circumstances activity became quite mechanical.
Please grasp the meaning of the word 'communication'- I am not referring talk or dialogue. In sexual activity communication means communication between body to mind and mind to body. Mind should feel the flow of sexual vibration, which required total meditation, concentration, and attention, which before marriage you both possess, because before marriage you use sex to preserve your relationship, and when preservation of relationship became sure, then you forget all mental quality once you use.
Communication make life very alive, is the rule of life. Just try to realize this and follow, all will be well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): helo.i'm married for nine years this year and have the exact problem.i found that being a bit of a mystery to my husband gets his attention.i changed my hairstyle and started dressing up just before he gets home.i also have girls nights out.you have to find things that you do by yourself and also things that you can do as a couple that keeps your love young and alive.be romantic write him love notes and put it in his work bag etc.at the moment this is working for my marriage.don't put pressure on him for the lack of sex.best of luck.mwah
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A
male
reader, OAKWOOD  +, writes (3 January 2010):
dont forget he is still a man and needed to be aroused.
sometimes when the person is with us always we tend to forget to take care ourselves to look hot. You know what i mean.
do you still have that hot bod???so to speak??? of the confidence???
treat him as if he is just your crush. and needed to take a bait.
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (3 January 2010):
 This is definitely something you should discuss with him! Instead of dropping hints, tell him straight out that you are feeling neglected sexually. Ask if there are problems.
It may be the responsibilities of married life have been stressing him out to the point that he has lost interest in sex.
But the bottom line is communication!
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (3 January 2010):
 I agree with CaringGuy. Talk to your husband. There are many things that could be responsible for his low libido.
1. Job/work
2. Kids
3. Pressure from you
4. Tired
You are both young. Am for that reason, I really think you need to tell your husband how you feel. Maybe he doesn't think there is a problem.
I do remember that when I was dating, I wanted to have sex everytime I saw my g/f (now wife). It was like I better get some cause I didn't know when the next time would be. I cherished every moment as if it were my last. After getting married, the sex declined. I didn't have to court here anymore. She was mine.
Now that I am older, I have begun cherishing the moments again.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 January 2010):
Talk to him about it. Tell him hoy you feel. He may just have settled into marriage a bit too much and needs to be reminded you need attention.
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