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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and I have sex once in awhile, but we don't last 5 to 10 mins before I finish. Is there any reason for it and how can I fix it?Also, her cherry hasn't even broke, but she feels me pushing on it when we do have sex. Is there anything that can help with it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (15 March 2006):
 ok here's some advice, but you before it works you will need to pull your girlfriend in on it, it takes two to tango therefore it should take two to learn the tango correctly, not just one, maybe you can print off your letter and string of answers in order to comminucate with her and bring the topic up for discussion.
First of all Addison is correct, her 'cherry', will definatley be broken! You must pushing against something else, pherhaps her cervix, maybe it just awkawered angles and positions that you are trying. You could even be too big for her, the more you experiment the more you will find out, so try different positions, and be gentle with her, do you know that if a bloke pushes too hard and deep he can actually hit a womens ovaries, which cause serious damage!!!!
You should definatly take advantage of more foreplay, really get to know each others bodies, if you are nervous about this then start doing it in the dark and gradullay lighten up the room, candles, lamps, soon you will wonder what you nervous about to begin with!
Now your girlfriend obviously stimulates you very much and gets you very excited, so no problem there. My ex was like this when we first got together, it took a while before either of us got over the initial excitement of being together, it was so intense, but we came round quite quickly and experimented lots with each other and surprised each other.
For you to be able to 'control yourself' more you are going to need help from your girlfriend! I would firstly suggest that when you are making love and you feel like you are about to finish, you need to stop before you do, DO NOT LET YOURSELF FINISH!!!! Only continue to make love when you are certain you have 'contained' yourself, Do this a couple of times until you are satisfied that you have pleased her and are ready to finish. You need to take into account that this will take a great deal of control and can be very good fun if you and your girlfriend both know what you are trying to acheive. If you try to do this without telling her what you are doing she will probably get quite confused!
There is also another suggestion that will involve your girlfriend being in total control. During foreplay ( I'm going ahead giving you these suggestions and she might not even be willing to carry them out, that is why it is IMPORTANT you talk to her) she is take control and 'tease' you, she should bring you to the point hwere you are ready to finish and then just stop, not letting you, when you have relaxed again she should carry on, and so on, until you can control yourslef, its the same suggestion but in a different manner.
Sorry if my suggestions have been to 'detailed' or offensive to anyone, but it is something I beleive can work, Good luck x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2006): You've got to breath man. And strengthen those PC muscles. Buy the book "The Multi-Orgasmic Male." It's an introductory book, and while not all the technique's work 100 percent, it'll teach you about strengthening your PC muscles. Secondly, learn to breath. Breathe control is so critical to being able to control your orgasms. I used to have the same problem, now I can go on for hours without coming. Once you start gaining stronger PC muscles, you can use a technique that I've discovered, called squirting. It's a method that I've come up with on my own. When I feel like I'm about to come, rather than continually stroking faster, to reach orgasm, I pause in my wife, and then contract my PC muscles a few times, as if I was orgasming. When doing this, I'll squirt two to three shots of semen, before relaxing, and amazingly, it's like a mini version of an orgasm, yet my penis stays hard and I can keep going. But you've got to develop those PC's. And the thing about breathing is that if you play close attention, the closer you get to orgasm, the more you find yourself holding your breathe. Continually breathing at a steady pace will help to delay the onset of orgasm.
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A
female
reader, love bug +, writes (15 March 2006):
I think you need to talk to her about this if you want a honest relationship she needs to no exactly how to please you in different ways and what turns you on and off! Maybe you should take it step by step think of your first time over again and how you slowly bit by bit build up using foreplay to actually having sex, instead of jumping right in there and doing it spend some time pleasuring your girlfriend she might then get the idea and want to try something new!
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A
female
reader, addison +, writes (15 March 2006):
 believe me she has broken her cherry! Maybe she is confusing it with her cervix? Advicce? Dont penetrate straight away..try and be in a little more control in bed so you can run it at your pace..foreplay is wonderful! Even tell her to stop for a sec so you can catch a few breaths..this might help. xxx
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