A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I recently broke up, and it's killing me. I just want to know how do people usually deal with the fact that she won't be sleeping with me anymore and will probably have sex with another guy in the future? any techniques or just things that I can do to alleviate my immense emotional pain?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (21 September 2010):
Hi there. There's no tricks as to how to get over it. There's no magic wand to make it all disappear.
You will naturally feel a bit upset and down for a while.
One very good thing NOT to do, is don't go and try to get into another relationship too soon. Rebound relationships very rarely go well. Instead, get back in touch with your friends and keep in contact with them and go out with them. Try to make your own life as interesting and exciting as it can be from now on. Perhaps start some new hobbies and interests, that will fill your time and make it enjoyable. Get to know yourself all over again.
Remember to have fun and laugh and be happy.
Try not to sit around and mope all the time, thinking about her. Time does help you move on, but you do have to make some effort also.
You have to start feeling good about yourself and believing in yourself again. Perhaps you have lost some of your confidence with this recent breakup. You are still the same person you were before it happened.
You need to start liking yourself again and believing you are a worthy human being, who deserves the best.
You will meet another nice young lady eventually, but it can't be pushed or forced to happen any sooner than it's meant to. Everything in good time.
In the meantime enjoy your life, but take it one day at a time. Try to live in the present moment as much as you can. Don't think about yesterday, and forget about tomorrow. All you have is "Now".
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): I fully support dirtball's thoughts on this. Good advice. Ive heeded that before and it did help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): If your like this now,i hate to say this but your going to have a tough time when she does sleep with another guy,the only way to deal with this is try to reconsiliate and put the past behind you both or wait until it does happen then see how you feel you maybe stronger than you think
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Ok, first things first, you need to change your focus. Grieve for the dead relationship. Get a handle on your own emotions. Take the steps you need to get past it. Once you've done that, the other stuff won't matter to you. Sure, it sucks sometimes seeing an ex happy with someone else, but ultimately it's better that way. You weren't meant for eachother or it would have worked. It's best if you can move on.
Some techinques for coping. Do you have a good friend who you can talk to about it? Often, just discussing these things makes us feel better. That way it's not just eating at us from the inside. Another technique is to write down what you're feeling. Write it all down, it doesn't matter. Wait a couple of days and go back and read it. I bet some of what you read will surprise you.
Unfortunately, there is no miracle fix it. Time heals all wounds. Sometimes you just need to give it time. It will get easier, just not right away.
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