A
female
age
51-59,
*hereisthelove
writes:would you date a guy that over all is a very nice guy just a few issues, he has a nice body but he isn't the most attractive person in the face, he can not get an erection because he has diabetes, seems to adore me and has a great personality. i am at my sexual peak in life and he can only participate in limited ways based on what he says. i haven't actually had sex with him.
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (7 July 2011):
 Well Im a nurse who has worked in a Urology Clinic in the past. One of the Docs is light hearted and serious at the same time. I have heard him tell his patients-If you think it is worth it to make yourself and your partner happy at the same time...why not TRY?
There are more options that EVER before!
Privately, he has told his staff-"If pts would just get over the stigma and over themselves..they would get some!"
A
female
reader, whereisthelove +, writes (7 July 2011):
whereisthelove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow FA and Hugh.J I have to agree with RedAthena, I think it is great that you guys have shared so much with me. It has been very informative as all the answers have been. I will encourage him to speak with a doctor when the time is right. I won't push him to do it though. We have only been dating a short while and sex is not at the top of my list whether I am at my sexual peak or not. I will continue to do some reading on the subject and educate myself about it and when the time comes, I will know more about it all and will be able to be more of a support for him. He really is a nice guy and I wanted opinions on this but I have gotten much more than opinions and I appreciate all of your answers.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 July 2011):
 Where is the love,
With such encouragement from Red I guess We should go a little further. I have been diabetic for about 10 years now and I am in your age range. High blood sugar caused damage to the capillaries. Early and good control of blood sugar will reduce of eliminate many of the side effects of diabetes, including ED. The bad news is that if the symptoms (like ED) are already present then the damage is already there as well. He still needs to keep good control of his sugars. We could open a whole new topic on dating a diabetic and how you can be helpful.
In the United States the doctor is most likely to try the ED drugs first. Viagra, Levitra, Cialis. I've used 2 of those with pretty good success. Some days nothing works and it is frustrating for both of us.
A lot of people are nervous about seeing the doctor for any thing, let alone something so personal, and unmanning. My Dr. was very cool about it. He had been treating my diabetes from the start. During one of my regular visits he just asked me if I was having any erection problems.
Perhaps he feels shy to talk about it with a doctor who knows that he has not been in a relationship for some time. The best advice I have heard on this is that medical professionals have seen it all. Nothing is going to shock them. The Doc will get him some free samples that day and he can find out if it's going to work. He will be so relieved when he has done it. So will you.
FA
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (6 July 2011):
 OP, it IS embarrassing to talk about ED, etc., with a doctor, but you just have to grasp the nettle.
After all, doctors have seen it all before and will not judge nor ridicule - they are there to help.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (6 July 2011):
I have to say YAY to the men that were comfortable enough to share their opinions on Diabetes and ED!
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A
female
reader, whereisthelove +, writes (6 July 2011):
whereisthelove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the information on Diabetes. I will have to go and research that more because no one can make an informed decision about anything without all the facts. I did not say that I wasn't patient, I was asking for others opinions and I have not dated the man that long. I am not shallow enough to walk away from an over all great guy because of something like this but he does evade the issue when I talk about possibly seeing a doctor and that bothers me, maybe he is a little embarrassed, i'm sure that i would be if i were in his shoes. It's not that he won't talk about his condition, he just evades my questions about seeing a doctor.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 July 2011):
 if he is smart and funny and kind and he cuddles and loves me and nurtures me in other ways... yeah i would
but then I"m not overly impressed with penetrative sex...
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 July 2011):
Where is the love,
As a Diabetic man with Erectile Dysfunction, I would say get that man into a doctor. Apparently you have talked about sex. If he is closing off options without due consideration it is a very bad sign. If he is looking for answers and willing to try things then it can be worked out. There are a lot of medical options.
I'm thinking peak or no peak, you are old enough to be patient when things don't work. Is he willing to seek a way to make it work?
FA
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (6 July 2011):
I have had diabetes for a number of years, and am what would be considered "mature", but although occasionally due to that condition and the medication I take to control it SOMETIMES makes it difficult to achieve and/or maintain an erection, it is by no means a limiting or frequent problem.
I also take beta blockers to reduce my blood pressure, which limits my potential for "hardness", but with the right stimulation.........
If he controls his condition well, i.e. checks his Blood sugar level at least twice per day and keeps it within the prescribed safe limits (4-7 mmol/litre) he should not have too big a problem.
If he is already well-controlled, he should seek medical help.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (6 July 2011):
If he is a fabulous companion and is willing to please me in other ways AND be willing to seek out medical help for his ED problem..yeah, Id date him.
BTW Diabetes is not a curse for erections. He would need to see a Urologist to discuss options.
I dated a guy that had health issues and could not sustain an erection either.
I broke up with him because he had some HUGE emotional issues, but he was not willing to talk to a Doctor or explore other forms of pleasure either. He ONLY used fingers and I knew I would eventually get bored quickly.
You may find out he is quite creative to make up the difference and that his other qualities are not worth giving up.
Best Wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): If you just want to date him yes.. but I don't think it will work in marriage if you're a very sexual person.
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