A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:I recently met this guy.. we are incredibly attracted to each other.. our chemistry is through the roof and we talk daily.. and tonight we had sex for the first time.Well i was super nervous to have sex w/ him but figured i dont normally do this (sex w/ someone right away) and could use a wild night of fun..so I had a few drinks, we talked..we're at his place just hanging out..we madeout for a lil while and started to have sex..and it was pretty much over. I was surprised he only lasted for 2 minutes but I told him it was okay to cum (he kept wanting to take breaks so he wouldnt cum) because i was about to cum aswell..so we came together and after he didnt believe me that i came and kept asking if it was really true and then apologized for it being soo brief,said hes not normally like that but said next time(next time we hang) he'd last longer and then he tried to make normal conversation but also mentioned he didnt think he could go again tonight..hes too tired.He then played out his whole day for me explaining why hes soo tired.He also mentioned that he was a lil nervous before i came over and smoked pot (apparently too much).He seemed embarrassed or mad at himself.I told him it was fine..it felt great..and i enjoyed myself but he still seemed bothered.The last time we hung out we had a long makeout session and he wet his pants (pre cum).He said that he hasnt been this turned on by someone in awhile and says he feels like a teen.I think all of it is flattering but im wondering if its just cause i turn him on alot or if this is an ongoing thing and how do i reassure him its all good?
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (15 August 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question Im also wondering because the sex was short..do you think he'll disappear? We havent known each other long..we jumped into sex & I figured why not have a good time even though its not normally my style. He says hes not just lookin for sex (but who knows).At the end he walked me out & asked me to call/msg him tomorrow (today). i msged today but didnt hear back.I know he has his kid today and tomorrow & usually if we do talk during that time its brief because hes busy.I figured if he didnt want to talk/see me again..he wouldnt have mentioned a next time or asked me to call..seems he wouldve said ttyl, ill call you.. or neither of those things..
Or am i wrong??
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (14 August 2010):
Write it off to the combination of new partner nervousness, booze, and drugs. Don't mention it - even indirectly.
If it happens again, then sometime after - like, the next day after, not 10 minutes after - mention that you'd like to work together with him to make it go on for more time. Tell him that the pot isn't helping and alcohol isn't a very good sexual lubricant. Let him know that after he climaxes you're going to work at getting him ready for a repeat, and you hope he'll cooperate with your efforts.
The third time it happens, you smile, kiss him passionately, and go to work at recharging him. It should take only 10 - 15 minutes. If that doesn't solve the problem then you two are facing a somewhat significant problem to solve together.
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A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (14 August 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the replies..
I definitely plan on doing it again..lol.i didnt consider what happened a bad thing - i enjoyed it.. i just wanted some advice :) thanks again...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Sounds like he's a genuine guy... don't try to "see" things in everything... it just happened. Give it another chance, with less booze and drugs...
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (14 August 2010):
 I'm pretty sure smoking pot had something to do with the short length of your night.He probably is really attracted to you. It's also a fact that pre-ejaculation can occur because of embarrassment so, he's probably still ashamed of how short he lasted. If you're planning to do it again, don't give him the chance to say anything about the length of time. If it really felt as good as you say it did then just tell him that before he can admit how bad he feels, that should boost his ego a little.
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