A
female
age
41-50,
*ollyjay
writes:I have posted on here before regarding whether my marriage should continue the way it is... anyway, just to make it even more fun, my husband ended our marriage on my birthday. I am devestated. Reasons why he says are that he will never trust me. How do you get someone to trust you? Why are people so cold hearted, and breakup with you on your birthday. Have been together for 10 years, married 7 and have 2 children, but been seperated for 10 months. (He says 2 years) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jollyjay +, writes (17 August 2010):
jollyjay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone who has responded to my questions, I really appreciate your honesty, kindness and constructive critisism!! Many thanks!! :) I am staying open minded, and out to think for my children and MYSELF for once lol!!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 August 2010):
 Honestly he seems like a controlling SOB. Why stay in a relationship like that? He surely doesn't love you, respect you or even trust you... what else is left?
I do think women in the military have a VERY tough job keeping their family together and keeping their nose clean, mostly because there are a LOT of female soldiers who are plain whores. Doesn't mean ALL female soldiers are though.
YOU, honey, deserve BETTER!
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A
female
reader, jollyjay +, writes (15 August 2010):
jollyjay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your answers/suggestions. The reasons why I can only assume he doesn't trust me is because I used to be in the Army, a male dominated job and he hated the fact that I had male friends (nothing else) and he thinks and keeps accusing me of having an affair. I have had trust issues with him in the past, to the point where I didn't trust him with his own cousin He left me the first time, and went and stayed with a female "friend" who is a secret friend, who he met while studying nursing ( a female dominated job)! So, I can't be trusted, I am no longer in the defence force, gave my career up to try and get my family back together... I just cant get over how cold he is, he said that he doesnt even trust me with our children! I have read, and read and listened to audiobooks about marriage and trying to save marriage, lots of Joyce Meyer things about change, and I believe that I have changed. he even said to me, he wants to get something made up so I can sign it, and if I EVER (apparently I did this) have an affair that I walk away with NOTHING. Dont think there is any love left from him whatsoever, and maybe I have just realised that.... !
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 August 2010):
 Like you ladies say, "Men are pigs!" well, in this case I agree. perhaps he forgot it was your BD and hadn't bought a present and was afraid to show up without one(no that's a lame attept at humor-my bad)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Well that is a natural out come of relationship going to worst situation. Probably you and he could have woken up earlier. Obviously in present days, divorce and separation has been made acceptable and that has given every one an option to end it when they feel it is not going anywhere. That is what he did in my view. Obviously we would not be able to know what went wrong. One thing i know that in most of the cases both are good, but EGO BATTLE eats the relationships.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Trust has to be earned. Once lost, sometimes it can not be re-earned. We know nothing about why your ex says he can't trust you. Did you do anything to loose his trust, or is he simply saying that?
You can't make anyone do anything... trust, forgive, love... nothing...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Is there any reason why he doesn't trust you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): my ex was just the same,he always caused a row around any family birthday and mine.funny how he could then dissapear for a few days and had no presents for anyone either?sometimes its just an excuse and they cant celebrate anything with you because their heart isnt in it?sorry to say but its himself he cant trust and is laying it on you.you will get over it and you will move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 August 2010):
Why does he not trust you any more?
Just like you can MAKE anyone love you you can't MAKE anyone trust you.
If he wanted to work things out I would suggest you guys found a neutral third party, such as a priest, pastor, rabbi or even jsut a marriage counselor.
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