A
male
age
41-50,
*omfused man..
writes:I am lost, i have been married for 12 years and together with my wife for 14. I have 2 great kids 2 and 8 who i love to death. My issue is for about the last 4 years my marriage is missing the love and affection i need. My day to day is good go to work come home family time is all great, but the sex starved marriage has me and the end of the ropes and when i sex i am not talking just sex all the great thing that come with it. I have mentioned this for a few years now with only the excuse of alot of woman go through it after reading olot of things its more than just woman. I have talked to her printed things for her to read and yet see no action to meat me halfway. What should i do as a next step because i am at the point of leaving to find that affection i so desire and before anyone says i am being selfish, i have tried i know i am not perfect but have tried. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): Found this question while looking for a similar problem and found this website that may be clarifying -
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/do-you-want-to-be-with-an-emotionally-available-person-be-emotionally-available-yourself/
hope it helps
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Your so called wife is cheating you out of happiness.
She knows it.
The $10,000.00 question is why?
Come home early a few times from work without notice.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Tell her exactly how you feel - be raw and real. Tell her that not having that type of affection makes you want to leave or even cheat...
If she's a smart woman she will figure something out ...whether feeling good about herself to feel comfy in bed to going to counseling and so on...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Ok first of you are not selfish we all need love and affection to keep a relationship going so dont worry. Ok so it is common that after children some women just lose ther libido and they just cant get turned on enough to want to have sex, also she may just be wrecked from dealing with the children.
Would you both be able to arrange to get a babysitter once a week? this would be a huge help believe me, have the children got grandparents or close relatives that they could go to in the evening and stay over night to give you and your wife a break? Try and organise something like this, and wine and dine her take her out for a meal and go back to the house light some candles and be romantic with one another, without the stress of the children hopefully she will come around.
You could also try marriage councelling they might be able to help get the spark back in to your relationship, why not do small things to show that you appreciate her, buy her flowers and chocolate every now and then, always tell her you love her and you think she is beautiful and kiss her in the mornings before you go and at night when you get in.
Most of all though be honest with her about how you feel, try not to sound patronising just tell her you think you should both go and get help because you miss the love and affection between the both of you and you are finding it hard to cope. goodluck.
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