A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HI, I have been in my relationship for 4 years and we have an 18 month old daughter, however my sex drive has become very high over the last 2 years and my partners is quite low compared to mine. I find myself feeling totally unsatisfied with the amount of sex we are having which is once a month and thinking and fantasising about other guys. I tried talking about it, but nothing really changed and I'm afraid i may end up being unfaithful to satisfy my needs. what can I do?
View related questions:
sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Riding shot gun in the sex driven seat.The stop signs, the yield signs, the twists and turns and oh my god, let my drive for gods sake you idiot signs.And that's what you do. Start driving.Jump his bones, get it on like he's a crash test dummy.Men are good for it, way more than a woman.Men are sometimes waiting and praying for it.Take the wheel and floor it.Men will rise to the occasion. And they eventually will appreciate it. I know this sounds almost insolent to a woman's ears and perhaps some men's also.But when he's got white line fever and you've just got speed, lay it on the line. I'm singing now.Go all Kermy the frog on him, if it doesn't work, than I'd be wondering if he hasn't hit the highway while you where just thinking about starting the car.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 April 2011):
 Can you try to describe how the conversation with your partner went? What kind of reaction did he give you, was he careless, did he not bother, was he eager to change things and make them better? Did he understand?
If you are too tempted to cheat I would imagine the better solution is to end the relationship you are in, as it would be inevitable. If you are caught cheating, or start to feel guilty about it, it will destroy the relationship anyway. Not to mention the betrayal.
Your question then is not: to cheat or not to cheat. It is rather: stay in a sexless relationship or break it off. Cheating = breaking it off.
How important is he to you, how important is the sex? Can you talk to him 5 more times until the seriousness of this sinks in? Can you figure out a compromise that works for the both of you?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): Please try to remember that for the first couple of years after birth women literally have no sex drive as they are bonding with the baby...give her time and things will get back on track. At the moment her body is ravaged from giving birth and breast feeding and the last thing she may want is to be messed with. Doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. You may live to really regret your decision if you cheat. The short term fulfillment of one need may lead to you missing out on a greater emotional fulfillment of having a long term and loving relationship. Have you talked to her about ways she can help meet your needs, without just requesting sex. Maybe a massage or something would be a good first step to reconnecting physically?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous0608  +, writes (28 April 2011):
what did he say when you talked to him? was he caring about your needs or just blow you off?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): I explained it was a growing problem and asked him when he thought there was a decline, however he was totally oblivious to the fact that it was lacking and thought things were ok. I let him know it wasn't in a diplomatic way but i don't think i made it clear how serious things were.
...............................
A
female
reader, teech +, writes (28 April 2011):
I explained it was a growing problem and asked him when he thought there was a decline, however he was totally oblivious to the fact that it was lacking and thought things were ok. I let him know it wasn't in a diplomatic way but i don't think i made it clear how serious things were.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): I explain that it was worrying me and if there were any reasons for the decline, however he seemed to be totally oblivious to the problem. It was a friendly talk but brief and I probably didn't explain how serious it was becoming for me.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 April 2011):
 Please tell us how you tried talking about it. What did he say? Did you explain why it is important to you? Has his sex drive always been this low?
...............................
|
