A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When is the right time to have kids? I want to have a child but here are some of the thing stopping me1) I dont have a partner that wants children (he has his own)2) I have endometriosis (womb tissue on ovaries can affect fertility)3) My parents are strict and wont let me have kids without getting married. 4) I am not white, my partner is white and my parents will not accept him5) My partner is not keen on getting married anyway. What do I do, I just want a child, I feel like I am missing out on being a mum in my 20s (I am 26 at the mo).
View related questions:
want children Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 7 pm.there is no right time. I had mine at 24 and 26.... now they are grown and i am having great fun... but i was also not the most mature of moms..there are pros and cons a couple of things here specific to you:1. being a single mom is not a great thing and anyone who chooses to do it on purpose is asking for trouble in so many ways (emotional, physical, financial)2. how can your parents LET you do something? you are 26 you can do what you want. IF you think that your parents have the ability to control what you do, then I do not think you are ready for a child. If your parents LEGALLY control your actions due to mental defect (my ex husband does this with my 27 yr old and it's court ordered) then you certainly should not have a childif you are legally and physically able to have a child the first thing you need to do is find a partner that is ready willing and able to parent with you... while i agree that marriage is preferred it is not mandatory to many folks.now as to missing out by not having a child, what are you missing? also sometimes being a mom at an older age is better...
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 April 2011):
 There is never a good time to have children.
...............................
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (28 April 2011):
 Your health comes first, what does a doctor say about fertility and/or carrying a child full term?
Your partner comes second, he'll have to want a child and have the means to provide for the child or you'll have to do it on your own.
Your parents and his parents come third, in the end it's your choice.
Your emotional desire comes last. Raising a child, getting married or not is a lifetime commitment it never ends until you end. It's a HUGE job.
Ask yourself some practical questions about child rearing and make sure you're ready for the challenge, the choice and the change.
Remember you won't sleep soundly until they are at least 24 LOL
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 April 2011):
The right time to have children is when you are in a position to truly offer them a secure life.
With the greatest of respect, at this time you're not quite ready. Not because you have medical issues, not because of race, not because of your parents - but rather because you are with the wrong man, and you are placing too much value on the idea of having children rather than creating a "home" that you can have them in.
1 - If he doesn't want kids, he's the wrong man for you. Period.
2 - Yes, this can affect fertility, but that here is not necessarily the issue.
3 - You are 26 - you can make your own lifestyle decisions.
4 - So what? Are you interested in a husband and children because you want them, or because your parents want them?
5 - Again, he's the wrong guy.
You're setting yourself up to fail. Take control of your life, find a guy you want to be with and take it from there. Stop worrying about your parents, and get rid of the unsuitable guy.
...............................
|
