| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Ok, me and my fairly long term b/f have been having sex now for about 4 months(we were both virgins), and frankly I hate it. It's uncomfortable, it's boring and it's kinda painful! We always do foreplay beforehand but I don't like that any better to be honest. I really care about him so I kinda put up with it coz I want him to get some pleasure out of it at least, and itsOK coz I feel like it makes us really close - in every other way hes the perfect b/f but the sex really REALLY sucks! I think the problem is that I'm actually pretty numb (if that makes sense!) - the only time I can really feel anything is when it hurts. We had oral sex for the first time the other day and he may as well have been in the other room for all I could feel. Plus I was really nervous about giving him head coz I was scared I'd mess it up...and I was right, lol. I just feel embarrassed about not liking sex, and inadequate about doing anything else sexual. We have tried other positions but none of them really worked... I just dont wanna tell him about it coz he thinks that I enjoy it as much as him and I dont want him to start feeling embarrassed and inadequate as well.Wow, sorry it's so long, but any advice would be great. :)
View related questions:
both virgins, foreplay, oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (31 August 2005):
The mind is the greatest sex organ of them all. Try to think of something that makes you feel sexy, it doesn't matter what it is, keep it secret. While your boyfriend is warming you up, think about whatever it is that makes you feel sexy, think as filthy or clean as you like. Try reading some erotic literature to give you some ideas. "My Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday is really good.
Delila
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2005): Hiya hun i understand where you are coming from, ive not long since lost my virginity to my fiance and when i first started having sex it hurt really bad then after that i couldnt feel anything up until about 6-8 months after first sleeping with him! I felt akward too and did it to please him but when i got more used to it i started to be a little more adventerous like having romantic nights in lighting candles all around the room, taking baths together, tieing each other up and even dressing up for him! Maybe youll start to enjoy sex if you relax, think about it you dont want sex so obviously your not going to be "in the mood" for it. Sex is very intimate he should make you feel special everytime you do it so maybe try a night in where sex isnt on the cards but you do things together like have a romantic meal in, take a bath together, give each other massages with oil and talk about sex, what you both do and dont like you may find your b/f doesnt like certain things but you dont know untill you ask! i hope you work out what you want to do hun Goodluck!
...............................
A
female
reader, amiee  +, writes (16 August 2005):
 dont feel embarrsed. its fine not to like it but consider talking to him about it. if he is as understanding as you and i think he is he will understand and you can both work through this. in a way this could be another way to make you closer. also have you conciderd going to you GP for advise? he/she may be able to come up with some answers as to why you go numb and why it hurts. but honestly there is nothing to feel embaressed about. you can work through this and you will work through this. i realy recomend seing your GP because if there is a problem weather it is small or nothing at all its better to be safe then sorry.
amiee x
...............................
|
