A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My husband and i have been together 5 years and married for 2 and a half. I have a son who is 10 year old from a previous relationship. My husband and my son have a great relationship. The problem im having is that my husband and i used to have really good sex but lately its becoming routine and boring and ive been having problems due to my medical issues (ovarian cysts). The cysts i get and the amount of cysts sometimes make sex hurt quite badly and become very uncomfortable which has also turned me off a bit lately. Im on the pill and have medication thats been helping me but it has lowered my sex drive. My husband tries hard to please me but i just think of the pain after we have sex which also turns me off. im unsure how to train my brain to forget the pain and try to enjoy sex again. Sometimes we can have sex without any problems or pain but when it happens it can be weeks of not wanting it. I feel bad not being able to please my husband the way i want to. But handjobs have become routine and blow jobs im not really that into but will do every now and then on special occasions. Im unsure what to do now because im just getting bored and feel frustrated that my body wont cooperate due to the pain. Ive switched my medications over the years and spoken to my doctor and seen a sex therapist but nothing has really worked. The medication im on has been working steadily for a while now and i havent been in and out of hospital with pain like i used to do be. Does anyone have any advice on what else i could do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2019): Sorry i posted this anonymously. ive seen three gynos and all say to have my ovaries removed. This problem presented itself when i was about 14 so ive had a fair few surgerys over my life getting cysts removed. But because of my age they do not want me to have my ovaries removed incase i change my mind about more kids. My husband is only 31 and im 28 so its a hard and tough decision and one im not willing to make due to my age. Its really hard to not feel hopeless and upset though and i know its so hard on my husband.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 February 2019):
 No wonder that you aren't into sex !- if it is painful, how could you be looking forward to it ? I doubt too that a sex therapist could help you, your problem is not psychological but physical ( or at least, way more physical than psychological ).
What does your doctor say ? Did you see him/ her, recently, and, most of all, which doctor is he / she, a GP,- or an OB/GYN ? Maybe it's time to seek a second opinion, and / or to consult a specialist.
Normally, ovarian cysts get monitored regularly ( pelvic examination ,and ultrasound or MRI ) , to see if, with pharmaceutical treatment- and a bit of luck- they recede ( get reabsorbed ) , at least partially. But if they grow more voluminous , or cause frequently pain during sex / physical activity, then generally you will be advised surgical treatment , removing just the cyst(s) if feasible, or the whole ovary if not.
Of course I am not a doctor so I am not presuming I can give you a diagnosis . But I am a bit surprised that your doctor has let this situation go on for years and years , because that's not generally the protocol. They are not quick to suggest surgical treatment, because many ovarian cysts shrink in a few weeks or months , either by themselves or responding to medications ; but if they don't, and they get to interfere seriously with your quality of life ( painful sex )- then it may be time for a different approach.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 February 2019):
 Do plan on trying to have a child? If so, go see your doctor and figure out where to go from there.
If you do not want any more children, discuss your options with your doctor as well.
I don't see how a sex therapist can fix anything as this is caused by PHYSICAL pain due to the cysts.
A GOOD gyno should be able to guide you here.
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