A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have recently lost my virginity... We have had sex 3 other times since then. It does not fee; good for me whatsoever, its not really painful unless he goes deep inside but I'm curious if its normal that Im not enjoying it yet. I just feel Im too aware of the fact that something is inside me and its not fun, it doesn't feel good at all.. Will this change or am I just one of those people who just cant enjoy sex?if Im one of those people, how do I make it more pleasurable. Like I said I lost my virginity and had sex 3 times since then so could it just be im being impatient. help please.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 December 2013):
 Sex was not enjoyable till about age 35 for me...
you love him
you love being close to him
perhaps your expectations of sex are clouding your judgement.
For me sex will NOT bring me to orgasm... at least not penetration and rarely will a man's oral or manual skills manage it either. For me sex is not about the orgasm but rather being close to the one I love and feeding off of his enjoyment of it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe does foreplay. He kisses me, touches me, he will stop often to make sure I'm okay.. He responds wonderfully to my needs. I guess its complicated because I enjoy the fact that it's him, I enjoy the experience, I enjoy listening and watching him but The sex itself, its just ... :/ . I don't think it's him. I wouldn't have sex with him if I didn't love him and he didn't love me.
We have a wonderful relationship. We connect in everyway and the sexual chemistry is ridiculous. When we are in the mood there is no way we can keep our hands off each other, but as soon as He puts it in, Its okay but it feels like its just there.
Like I could be texting at the same time.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (22 December 2013):
 I'll agree with some others that your boyfriend is inexperienced and knows little about sex. Perhaps you should back-off for awhile, but yes, you will eventually enjoy making love to someone who cares about you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013): Are you "emotionally enjoying" it? Does it feel like he is expressing love to you? If so that can make things more pleasant.
If it seems like he is only focused inward on himself during sex and the physical sensations he is feeling then I can see how it wouldn't be enjoyable for you unless you were also feeling pleasant physical sensations too, which you're not.
with my husband it often feels like he is having sex by himself and I am just a prop for him to use to get off. I hate having sex with him even though with my previous boyfriends I loved having sex because there was a mental connection.
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A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (22 December 2013):
Having sex and making love are completely different.It sounds like he's having sex with you and that's it!When you make love you get emotional fulfilment as well which is 10 times better especially if you love that person.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 December 2013):
 Sounds like whomever you are having sex with doesn't know about foreplay and how to get YOU fully in the mood. Some guys don't "get" that there is more to sex then penetration.
My advice IF you don't FEEL like it's pleasurable tell your man that you want to try something else. Don't FAKE that you enjoy it if you don't.
FIGURE OUT how to get yourself off. When you can do that, SHOW your man HOW you LIKE it.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (21 December 2013):
 I think you need to give it some time. It takes awhile for the pleasures of sex to kick in. Are you having sex with someone who you feel good with, who you feel sexy and comfortable with? Because I'll tell you right now, if you're with the wrong person then it will continue to feel awkward and unenjoyable until you stop and find someone who you're really into!
Don't worry - be patient! It'll happen. :)
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 December 2013):
I'm not a woman but I've heard women say, more times than I can count, that sex wasn't enjoyable for quite awhile.
For guys it's easy, but women need to be more comfortable, relaxed, horny, etc.
Over time you get the hang of it. It's also likely that your guy has no idea what he's doing yet.
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