A
male
age
41-50,
*rentLIves
writes:Well, I recently found out that my fiancee is being emotionally and verbally abused by her mother. I looked up under section 6 felony. But does this mean that my fiancee mom go to jail or get a warning etc? But this is crazy how my fiancee's mom is mistreating my fiancee. Am doing the right thing of making a report against her mom. My fiancee can't drive cause of epilepsy is on SSI and supplement. But she is at risk vulnerable adult that she stand up for herself when it matters. She used to have suicidal thoughts around last Christmas the she was treated. She could of starved herself and died by being very depressed and she takes four different types of meds with side effects that cause depression and suicidal thoughts. But without me in her life she has nothing. She doesn't feel right at home anymore and feels like she is an outcast.
View related questions:
christmas, depressed, fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 December 2013):
 Reporting her mother for abuse is the wrong thing to do. In your previous posts you said her mother caressed her face and treated her like a child. This may be annoying but it is far from abusive.
In another post you said her mother was trying to bribe you with gas cards. Offering to compensate you for the gas you use to see her daughter is hardly abusive either. Considering you're a grown man and her daughter a grown woman I'd say it was downright generous.
In fact, of all your posts, this is the first thread in which you even mention abuse.
Reporting her would be a spiteful act and a gross misuse of public services. And it wouldn't do your fiancé any favours either. This is her family and they were there for her long before you showed up.
Her mother isn't trying to sabotage your plans. She is afraid that for two people unable (or barely able) to support themselves and with minimal relationship experience you're moving very quickly. If your big plans blow up in your faces it will be her mother who will be left picking up the pieces.
And I'm guessing you have little to no experience taking care of someone, let alone someone with disabilities. Her family is afraid you're biting off more than you can chew. Your say so is not enough to reassure anyone. How you conduct yourself now will give them a pretty good idea of how you'll handle difficulties when you're alone with their daughter/sister.
As for the wedding. I don't know what your hopes are but these big, lavish receptions are vulgar, narcissistic displays of wealth most people don't have. The more money you spend on a silly party the less money you'll have to live on. Keep it tasteful and simple.
The best advice I can give you is pace yourselves and take each day as it comes. Save up as much as you can, even if it means spending a bit less time together now. And try to get on with her family. The more relaxed, mature and respectful of their stake in this you are, the more supportive they will learn to be with you.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 December 2013):
 What the hell is this post? And these weird ass updates.
...............................
A
female
reader, trekeegirl +, writes (21 December 2013):
He's already done A LOT MORE THAN any other guy I know, and he and I are trying our best to get an apartment ourselves, but between his father trying to advise us, because he's my fiancées co-payee, and my not being able to drive I feel imprisoned in my bedroom most of the time because I end up in arguments with my mother when I see her, or get "the evil-eye" look from my 47 year-old half-brother. I am 33 years old and am on SSI and my seizures aren't as frequent or severe as they once were. My fiancee, has been doing A LOT for me, especially when it comes to driving 28 miles across the county! He's already my knight in shining armor!
...............................
A
female
reader, trekeegirl +, writes (21 December 2013):
I didn't know where to turn until my now fiancee, BrentLives, came along. I didn't know where to turn, except for my friends(the closest online friend I have is in Minnesota and he's the one that convinced me NOT to commit suicide at the time-if it wasn't for his advice I wouldn't have met my WONDERFUL fiancee, who understands me so very much) by phone. My fiancee HASN'T done a THING to my mother, other than take me out of the house- which to me now feels more like just a place to eat and sleep than "home." It's not the loving environment it once was.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 December 2013):
 So why not move her in with you? Be her knight in shining armor instead of being so busy going after her mom?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2013): Your fiances mother has looked after her just fine until you came along.
You've posted several times vilifying her for looking after her daughter.
Stop trying to poison their relationship.
...............................
|
