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writes: My wife and I have been separated for 5 years, but about a year ago we started sleeping together again. Here is my problem she doesn't want a relationship, she calls it friends with benefits. Do I call it off or what?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): It seems to me like she's using you, so be very careful here or you could end up with a broken heart. If you like her as anything more than friends with benefits (if you still love her), then I'd advise to get out while you can.
I'm presuming she has no other partner, and probably hasnt had sex in a while, so you're the easiest option aren't you. She knows you'll satisfy her needs. But this is using you really..
I'd advise you get out while you can, because whatver she is up to isn't good news.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Well she either wants you or she doesn't, it seems to me she is using you as a safety net and is enjoying the sex.. but the fact that is all she wants would set alarm bells ringing??
It seems she is keeping you in the back ground 'just in case' whilst waiting to see what else come along.
Don't put up with being treated this way - whilst she is having her cake and eating it she is stopping you from moving on with your life and meeting someone special.
- someone special who will yes i'm sure want to have sex but eveything else that comes with a relationship
You obviously have strong feelings for your ex but personally i would give her an ultimatum... its all or nothing at all.
Otherwise I fear this situation will never change and you will just waste months / years on this woman until she meets someone else.
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reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (15 April 2008):
Hi kevint2469, It all depends how you feel about her. How strong are your feelings for her? Everyone shares a bond with thier ex's but if you are still emotionally attached to her, don't let her use you for sex. Look after yourself emotionally and physically first, she seems to be! All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): It depends on what you want...do you want a relationship where you are exclusive with each other a commitment? If so then tell her what you want and how you feel and if she continues to not want that with you then call it off.
If you are comfortable having a mostly sexual relationship with her, and don't expect her to be sexually faithful to you or to not see and or date others, then you need to call if off completely!
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